Chris,
Thank you for your reply. And, yes, you need a score card to sort this mess out. Family break ups have become a matter of routine in my family. Take out old configuration and insert new format. Business, is then, supposed to go on as "normal".
Some Pharisees came and asked him,"Do you permit divorce?" Of course they were trying to trap him. "What did Moses say about divorce?" Jesus asked them. "He said it was all right," they replied. "He said that all a man has to do is write his wife a letter of dismissal." "And why did he say that?" Jesus asked. "I'll tell you why -- it was a concession to your hard-hearted wickedness. But it certainly isn't God's way. For from the very first he made man and woman to be joined together permanently in marriage; therefore a man is to leave his father and mother, and he and his wife are united so that they are no longer two, but one. And no man may separate what God has joined together." MAR 10:2-9
God hates divorce. But, I say He loves the divorcee. He hates divorce because of the pain it causes and all other residual affects. I would urge anyone who may be contemplating a similar course of action to reconsider. Think of your actions and what it may mean to your loved ones and ultimately to you yourself. Consider whether it is God that is leading you into a new marriage relationship or whether you are fulfilling the desires of your flesh?
But when the Holy Spirit controls our lives he will produce this kind of fruit in us: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control; and here there is no conflict with the Jewish laws. GAL 5:22,23
Unfortunately, many people understand love to be a feeling. I assure you it is not. Infatuation is a feeling. It always, ultimately fails you. Often it leads you into all kinds of situations before it is through with you. Love is a commitment to put another's needs over your own. True agape love says I will love you unconditionally. I will meet your needs before my own. (Surprisingly, as we do this, we find our own needs being met beyond our wildest dreams!) Eros love only loves you when you continue to satisfy my needs or continue to please me. It is an insecure proposition at best!
And have you quite forgotten the encouraging words God spoke to you, his child? He said,"My son, don't be angry when the Lord punishes you. Don't be discouraged when he has to show you where you are wrong. For when he punishes you, it proves he loves you. When he whips you it proves you are really his child." HEB 12:5,6
I too have felt the abrupt force of the old beam! I try to keep my corrections at the gentle nudge level, but the beam has had to find my forehead occasionally. Correction is never easy to receive. As I have grown in and with the Lord, I have come understand that it is for my own good though. It prevents me from falling further into a situation that will only cause me and others harm. Still, I would never characterize it as pleasant.
I am under that beam now. I failed, in many ways, to be a better son. To have been more of an encouragement. To not have avoided some of the conflicts I could have regardless of whether I was being dealt with fairly. To not have lived a better Christian walk that could have served an example to help my Dad. As he has failed me, I too have failed him. I walk in forgiveness to the fullest measure I am able to. It is my intent to fully forgive without reservation.
I am grievous and sorrowful for the opportunities that I did not fully seize. I let a root of bitterness take hold of me. I had thought I did not send my message with any remaining personal bitterness. But, now I am convicted otherwise. That is not to say it was without merit, but upon examining myself deeply, my motives were not as pure as I would have had them be.
I couldn't agree more about the necessity of prayer! I have increased my level of prayer throughout this and, more importantly, my reliance on God. There have been many occasions that I, despite a reasonable intellect, had no clue what I needed to do to either deal deal with my grief or my Mother's or to handle the tasks that had become mine to handle. It was at these times, that I had to go before the Lord and wait on Him for an answer. I had no choice! It is our tendency to become self-reliant. To trust our own abilities. But we are admonished to "not lean on our own understanding". I more fully understand that Scripture now.
If the result of this was to bring to a more prayerful state then this is a good result. I appreciate your prayers and will pray for you too. Unfortunately the church, at large, is still not "in one accord" as much as it should be. The times, begin what they are, this is most unfortunate!
It is true what you say. I do not love my Dad less. I grieve for him and for myself. In all this, I have been awoken from my slumber too. My heart is heavy. Not for the loss of our relationship or the pain brought to me, but for my own shortcomings that still remain. I am seeing clearly the darkness that remains in me. It is unpleasant. Wretched man that I am. But, I know a joyous day is coming. Be of good cheer! Good things await us as we put off ourselves and seek to do the will of the Father. I rejoice that my peace will again be restored to me. For now, it is sackcloth and ashes. When this time passes, I will be better able to serve the Lord. Hallelujah!
In Christ,
Craig |
