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Pastimes : Ask God -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Jamey who wrote (32558)	2/15/2001 1:42:28 PM
From: Bluefish	Respond to of 39621

Santiago, I appreciate your post and remarks. I too understand the very bad things that alcohol can do to people, both directly and indirectly. I have fallen under it's power to and done some horrible things. I had only been casually following things for most of the time, but I was drawn to the discussion over AA. I was intrigued by the concept of one having quit drinking but still needing to work the program. I myself have had alcoholic tendencies largely removed from my life, but I do not consider myself beyond it's ability to reach out and crush me again. Honestly, the pain I feel now makes me think about it. I know it is only lies and would not help me in the long run nor please God. I will remain strong and I ask for prayers. I borrowed my brother's big book and the smaller "12 and 12" book and found them to be useful. Even being the 3rd edition, where the "higher power" concept was supposedly first placed into the program, I was pleased to see that much mention of God remained. He had been in many different recovery programs, but finally at the Salvation Army did he get set free! Hallelujah! I had great hopes for him when he went in there and God did not fail! Blessed be His Holy name! I grieve for your situation. I can only imagine what it must be like. I will pray for your son to see the new you. The one who has come to grips with his problem and now has the Lord more in control so that the unfortunate events of the past will not repeated themselves. I struggle to ensure they do not happen again in my life. This is why I think the program would be good for me. I think I walk in forgiveness and then I find myself having not fully forgiven if the past offense can come back to haunt me? I want to walk in full forgiveness and peace with all men. It is some of my discussions with my brother that are leading me to understand that "all men" includes me as well! I think that will be key to me making a full recovery. I am working as dilligently as I know how to work the serenity prayer. Your sincerity has affected me as well. This life can be tough enough without us fighting, we need to help one another with loving kindness. I too am paying for many things that might have been as well as some that are. Nothing like you though. Hold fast to the faith you have. Things WILL get better! Miracles happen all the time. Be of good cheer. Families get restored all the time. I look to you for guidance in pursuing the program. The how to go about it and all. Whether openly or by PM, I don't care. I just need what can fix alot of the remaining mess in me. I would that I could "get over myself" so that I can sow into other's lives, but I now accept that I cannot give what I do not have. I must first get myself more aligned with God and remove the obstacles that hinder me in good works. I know my major problem has been trying to live right in my own strength. There is no surer way to burn out or simply fail. We need the precious Holy Spirit to guide us and give us strength to live the Christian life. It is clear to me that I have not yet fully nailed my evil nature to the cross with Christ. My post to my Dad was really intended with love. I know it may have sounded bitter and I do think I have discovered more bitterness in myself this morning than I realized existed. My brother has conveyed the concepts of the "garbage can" and keeping my side of the street swept clean. They are still very new to me. I avoided AA for many years because of the higher power thing and the concern that the group may try to replace God in my life. I would that I suffered along rather than allow that. However, I realize that I was not pleasing God as I supposed by denying myself whatever legitimate means were available to improve myself and my walk. I have denied myself a good thing and allowed that to hinder my effectiveness for the Kingdom. I can be very stiff-necked and hard-headed sometimes! I believe that many of the reasons that caused me to indulge in substance abuse before may still remain. This is why it is still a struggle and not a full victory yet. But it will come to me yet! Praise be to God! In Christ, Bluefish