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To: Savant who wrote (4178)	2/22/2001 11:41:45 PM
From: Apex	Respond to of 4201

the groom lost his virginity at the stag ===== Stag night pool cue jape leaves groom in agony A rugby player on his stag night was left in agony when his pals' joke involving a pool cue went too far. Steven Rowley, 30, was strapped spreadeagled and naked to a pool table and assaulted with a pool cue at his club in Kelso. Rowley suffered serious internal injuries and had to be helped home to his wife-to-be Deborah Rushton. He later underwent emergency treatment. Police have confirmed they are investigating the incident at the Poynder Park club rooms of the Premiership Division Two side, reports the Daily Record. Witnesses said they had been stunned by the ferocity of the assault. One man said: "There did not seem to be any malice. At first, it started off as a piece of fun but it very quickly got out of hand. "Steven is a big strong boy but they held him down on the pool table and it was like a whole crowd was attacking him. "I have heard of stag night high-jinks but this takes it to a new league. It was an horrific incident. " The couple's marriage on Saturday is to go ahead. The Kelso club pledged a full investigation.

To: Savant who wrote (4178)	2/22/2001 11:54:31 PM
From: Apex	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 4201

one more for the road... cat food chef ===== Canine 'chef' sparks house fire A dog in Chicago almost burned down the family home when he tried cooking his own dinner. The chocolate labrador named Bear knocked a bag of dog food on to the cooking hob and managed to turn on the burner. His owners say it must have been an accident because he is so lazy he usually struggles to get off the couch. It all happened while the Lemme family were at church and when they came home they found the house filled with smoke and the kitchen destroyed. Bear was cowering in the basement but otherwise unharmed, reports the Chicago Tribune.

To: Savant who wrote (4178)	3/6/2001 10:53:46 PM
From: Apex	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 4201

HAZARDOUS MATERIALS INFORMATION SHEET ======================================= ELEMENT: Women SYMBOL: Wo DISCOVERER: Adam ATOMIC MASS: Accepted at 53.6kg, but known to vary from 40-200kg OCCURRENCES: Copious quantities in all urban areas PHYSICAL PROPERTIES: 1. Surface usually covered in painted film 2. Boils at nothing; freezes w/o known reason 3. Melts if given special treatment 4. Bitter if incorrectly handled 5. Found in various states from virgin metal to common ore 6. Yields if pressure applied in correct places CHEMICAL PROPERTIES: 1. Has great affinity for gold, silver, and a range of precious stones 2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances 3. May explode spontaneously w/o prior warning and for no apparent reason 4. Insoluble in liquids, but activity increases greatly in saturation of alcohol 5. Most powerful money reducing agent known to man COMMON USES: 1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars 2. Can be a great aid to relaxation 3. Very effective cleaning agent TESTS: 1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in the natural state 2. Turns green when placed beside a better specimen HAZARDS: 1. Highly dangerous except in experienced hands 2. Illegal to possess more than one, although several can be maintained at different locations as long as specimens do not come into direct contact with each other.