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Politics : Formerly About Applied Materials -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Dale Knipschield who wrote (43235)	3/6/2001 8:10:54 PM
From: ratan lal	Respond to of 70976

and in my mind, all three made fools of themselves I think they are both an assett and a liability. Assett - Its fools like them that make us look so good. Liability - People from other countries think the average american is, in fact, that stupid. So they rush in here to improve the avearge IQ and of course partake of the fortunes offered here.

To: Dale Knipschield who wrote (43235)	3/16/2001 3:47:46 AM
From: ratan lal	Respond to of 70976

Q: What's the name of the large canal that joins the Atlantic and Pacific?....... Ans: The Mississippi canal? here are some more.... > >A teacher forwarded this list of comments from test > papers, essays, > >etc., > >submitted to science and health teachers by > elementary, junior high, > >high > >school, and college students. As she noted, "It is > truly astonishing > >what > >weird science our young scholars can create under > the pressures of time > >and grades." > > > >"H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water." > > > >"To collect fumes of sulphur, hold a deacon over a > flame in a test > >tube." > > > >"When you smell an oderless gas, it is probably > carbon monoxide." > > > >"Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and > Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. > >Hydrogin is gin and water." > > > >"Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes > and caterpillars." > > > >"Blood flows down one leg and up the other." > > > >"Respiration is composed of two acts, first > inspiration, and then > >expectoration." > > > >"The moon is a planet just like the earth, only it > is even deader." > > > > > >"Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down > on them and makes them > >perspire." > > > >"A super saturated solution is one that holds more > than it can hold." > > > >"Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they > look like umbrellas." > > > >"The pistol of a flower is its only protections > agenst insects." > > > >"The skeleton is what is left after the insides > have been taken out and > >the outsides have ben taken off. The purpose of the > skeleton is > >something > >to hitch meat to." > > > >"A permanent set of teeth consists of eight > canines, eight cuspids, two > >molars, and eight cuspidors." > > > >"The tides are a fight between the Earth and moon. > All water tends > >towards > >the moon, because there is no water in the moon, > and nature abhors a > >vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this > fight." > > > >"A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, > the more extinct it > >is." > > > >"Equator: A managerie lion running around the Earth > through Africa." > > > >"Germinate: To become a naturalized German." > > > >"Liter: A nest of young puppies." > > > >"Magnet: Something you find crawling all over a > dead cat." > > > >"Momentum: What you give a person when they are > going away." > > > >"Planet: A body of Earth surrounded by sky." > > > >"Rhubarb: A kind of celery gone bloodshot." > > > >"Vacuum: A large, empty space where the pope > lives." > > > >"Before giving a blood transfusion, find out if the > blood is affirmative > >or negative." > > > >"To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down > over the nose." > > > >"For a nosebleed: Put the nose much lower then the > body until the heart > >stops." > > > >"For dog bite: put the dog away for several days. > If he has not > >recovered, > >then kill it." > > > >"For head cold: use an agonizer to spray the nose > untill it drops in > >your > >throat." > > > >"To keep milk from turning sour: Keep it in the > cow." > >