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Pastimes : Clown-Free Zone... sorry, no clowns allowed -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: John Pitera who wrote (84916)	3/26/2001 6:57:44 AM
From: Jumper	Read Replies (3) \| Respond to of 436258

Pt. 1 of Many - Bottom Slappers set sail for Volatile Week Sunday Night 3.25.01 10:00PM Outside CNBS Studios It has been another long week for Maria B., she was exhausted but giddy. Her private car waited across the lot but she lingered for some unknown reason...it had been a long time since she had anywhere stimulating to go. The stress seems to be mounting just as her career was really taking off - it seemed like a century ago when she was a student at NYU, all those fat faced freshman boys from the midwest eager to run to Washington Square Park and pick her up a dime bag, speculating the act of braveness would get them into her pants. (She smiled) Maybe they were nickel bags back then...but why embarrass yourself, leave that to Jimmy Jones Cramer, managing editor of BuyHigh-SellLow.Com, self mutilator and supreme retard. (She lit a tightly rolled Jamaican bundle of joy...a gift from her friend Tony Soprano- he shoved it in her pocket last week on the floor of the NYSE) Tony Soprano had whispered in her ear - "you are family - and my loins burn for you". Maria B. had carried the Jamaican cigarette in her pocket ever since..."I love you like a sexy cousin" Tony S. had said. (she smiled...shook her head...drifting back in time) 'You go Girl' she sighed...remembering that East Village party on Avenue C like it was yesterday. That scene sure got out of hand -Daddy bought the negatives and never mentioned it again. Those were the days! Long before Maria B. had to tape hundreds of promos for local affiliates every Sunday Afternoon extolling hand held devices that would never be sold, simply to benefit the portfolio traders for the parent company while her husband spent time out with the boys. Come to think of it - it has been months since the maid had complained about mattress damage - little Johnny Steinberg seemed to be into boys more than her. (Maria B's shoulders slumped) No doubt little Johnny was out with Creamy Cramer again at Water Works or the Oyster Bar right now thought Maria B. (laughing) "Profit From It" she screamed out loud...her sexy husky voice vanishing in the darkness of the night..."What a %#c^ing Joke!. Since she got her own show last March, thanks in part to drunk late night posters on Silicon Investor, CNBS viewers had lost Trillions...Trillions! Dumb American Sheep had been circle jerked...placating themselves by listening to early morning puns from Barnum era Clowns Faber and Joe "the joke man" Kernen on 'Squawk Box'. Squawk Box Indeed! The endless parade of Wall Street Pimps her corrupt producers had forced her to interview over the years suddenly made her feel nauseous and she motioned for her driver Mohammed. A few Martini's, a couple of Valiums and it would be bedtime for Bonzo thought Maria B. To Be Continued...