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To: gladman who wrote (123076)4/5/2001 2:08:10 PM
From: Skeeter Bug  Respond to of 164684
 
gladman's gettin' jiggy? does that mean we've bottomed? ;-)



To: gladman who wrote (123076)4/5/2001 3:23:23 PM
From: Investor Clouseau  Read Replies (2) | Respond to of 164684
 
see #8 on the list;

To:Stock Watcher who wrote (44185)
From: Investor Clouseau Wednesday, Apr 4, 2001 12:15 PM
View Replies (1) | Respond to of 44222

sw, Top 10 (Letterman style) Scientific observations and theories derived from the market crash.
10. Scientists have proven Einstein’s theory of relativity. Some stocks have fallen so fast (ARBA, KANA etc.) that the markets have actually been open for 10 minutes longer than they should have been. Stocks that were falling at the speed of light actually slowed time on the exchanges.

9. Scientists now believed that it was a giant “tech” stock that hit the Yucatan peninsula 100 million years ago and wiped out the dinosaurs.

8. Geologists theorize that when the next one hits, it may hit with such force that it will suck the planet inside-out, and we’ve been looking at our charts upside down. This is when we’ll discover that the markets haven’t been declining; they’ve been soaring like no other time in history. Not only that, but the analysts have been right and they were upgrading stocks at the lows, not the highs.

7. Anthropologists have discovered that it was actually Alan Greenspan in the movie “Deliverance” that made Ned Beatty “squeal like a pig”

6. In a theory proposed by a Hydrologist, if a “tech” stock should hit either of the polar ice caps; the resulting global warming will raise the level of the oceans to the point that Omaha will be ocean front property. Obviously, this will prove that Warren Buffett truly is “the oracle of Omaha”.

5. Sociologists theorize that the CNBC posse, dressed as Mohawk Indians and lead by Joe Kernan, will raid Chairman Greenspan’s office and burn all his economic data. Larry Kudlow continues his campaign to be the next Fed chairman.

4. Astronomers have discovered that the great nebulas of the galaxy are actually the remnants of great stock market implosions in other solar systems.

3. NASA has determined that because of the gravity well caused by the plummeting markets, they must shift the orbit of all spacecraft as they pass over New York.

2. Scientists discovered a new element for the periodic table. The new element called “euphorigenium” was what was previously holding up stocks. In keeping with the theory of conservation of matter, they predict this element will reappear eventually.

1. Astrophysists have determined beyond a shadow of a doubt, that is was a giant galactic “tech” stock that imploded and created the known universe in what we now call the "big bang". The former “blue chips” are now stars, midcaps are now planets, OTC BB’s are now moons and asteroids.

:)
IC (hope you enjoy the list)