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Politics : PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: MulhollandDrive who wrote (138331)	4/15/2001 5:55:16 PM
From: Don Pueblo	Respond to of 769667

YOU KNOW YOU'RE IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA IF: You make over $350,000 a year and can't afford to buy a house. It's sprinkling when you get up, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents. Your child's third grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Breeze. On Monday through Friday, your drive time to anywhere farther than five miles away is one mile per minute. You've been to a baby shower for an infant who has two mothers and a sperm donor. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown, and can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian. You know which restaurant serves the freshest arugula. A really great parking space can move you to recount it as an anecdote. The guy in line at Starbucks wearing the baseball cap, sunglasses and who looks like George Clooney, is George Clooney. Your car insurance costs as much as your mortgage payment. Your hairdresser is straight, your plumber is gay, and your Mary Kay rep is a drag queen. You know at least three different ways to get to work, depending on when you leave home. You're the third car at the intersection when the light turns red, and you go. You have a television outside. It's sprinkling, and there's a report on every news channel about "THE STORM!" Over 85% of the streets start with San, Los, La, or Santa. Two overcast days in a row make you assume the Ice Age has returned. The noises that sound like guns going off at the bottom of the hill are actually guns going off at the bottom of the hill. You know what days to not go to the beach. A family of four owns six vehicles. You know that hurricanes, tornadoes, floods and snowstorms are much worse than earthquakes, which are over almost as soon as you realize what's happening. Even if the store is across the street, you drive there.