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Pastimes : Don't Ask Rambi -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?


To: JF Quinnelly who wrote (59695)4/15/2001 6:08:46 PM
From: Poet  Read Replies (2) | Respond to of 71178
 
Yes! All my food is calorie-free. It's this damned New England air that's padding my hips.

I made a ham for Easter dinner. I went to the grocery store earlier this week and was stupefied by the choices. There are Polish hams, southern hams, ham steaks, butt hams (let's skip over the visual on this one), spiral-sliced.... I did what I thought was the right thing and purchased the most expensive ham per pound. Nothing's too good for my family on Easter.

I took it home, spent yesterday making all the traditional ham side dishes--asparagus, brussels sprouts (all gussied up with bacon and toasted hazelnuts), and au gratin potatoes. I put the ham on its baking rack and lovingly basted it with a brown sugar/orange juice/bourbon mixture. All was right with the world.

Then my stepson walks in, 220 pounds of appetite ready for action. He opens the oven door and collapses in laughter. "What the heck is this?" he screams "A giant hot dog?" And you know what? He was absolutely right. It looked just like the end of a genetically-enhanced cocktail wiener. My dinner was ruined.

I have been eating purple Peeps to comfort myself.