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Pastimes : Don't Ask Rambi -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?


To: JF Quinnelly who wrote (59773)4/25/2001 12:57:15 AM
From: Mac Con Ulaidh  Respond to of 71178
 
I had a long, thoughtful response that got eaten when I got booted.

Yah, it's not unlike a cult. and there is much to come to terms with.

You are never the same. You never feel quite a part of the "ordinary" world again. Yet you supplied this thing that so many go after, and long for. so why do you feel apart? Because it is still their hidden world. Their dirty secret. So you suffer for having provided it.

And it is seldom, very seldom, that you will talk to someone and not find a history of abuse. A reason they ran, and felt they had no options, nothing better for themselves.

And it is sad.

And it is cultlike.

Probably she talks too fast. And jumps subjects. And doesn't want to quite talk about it really.

It hurts. It always hurts.

Tina used to come home at night and beat the crap out of my arms. It was my idea. She was so wound up, I'd stick my arm out and say "hey, use this". And she punch them. Daym, I stayed black and blue. She was strong.

And she was so confused. So messed up. And so brilliant and kind. But she had run when she was 15. Getting away.

The main thing I always heard was "please help me find a way out". I guess that's cult like. Having to rebuild. Or build for the first time. To get out.

But you are always on trial. Always knowing some "customer" might see you in your new life. Always stained.

Ain't nothing funny about it. Except when we are together. Away from the world that judges us.



To: JF Quinnelly who wrote (59773)4/25/2001 1:07:06 AM
From: Mac Con Ulaidh  Read Replies (2) | Respond to of 71178
 
And I don't think I was misled. :) I saw the kindness behind your jokes long ago. And that you would like Destiny and listen to her.

You touched on a close subject to me, and one I have been thinking a lot about lately, and the people I knew then, so I was ripe to talk of it.

And... to be rounded.. I knew male prostitutes. So I know that side. It's not so much male or female when it comes to those involved on the giving end, though female is more common.

There are users and the used. And the used are the ones who take the brunt, both in the beginning and the end.

And they are the ones who have to rise above.

To find dignity. And know that the users don't define them. And that they can go on to live the life they will.

And look at the users as the creeps they are. As the pathetic creatures who pay for pleasures that they are.

As a friend of an exotic dancer put it "don't trip on 'em. take their money and run".

we aren't what we do to survive. We just survived. We are what we make of ourselves afterwards. And we are how we treat those around us.

Daym, I better get off the box. ;) See what you started?

This is your fault.