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Pastimes : Insults Only..... -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Nite-Man who wrote (18734)	4/30/2001 2:29:13 PM
From: Wayners	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 30928

You're so stupid you think a litmus test is a lab experiment involving mice and fire.

To: Nite-Man who wrote (18734)	4/30/2001 3:02:04 PM
From: Wayners	Respond to of 30928

AP, Boston, 27 Apr 01, A illiterate named Nite-Man found himself dazed and patting out flames shortly after arriving at a two-alarm house fire equipped with a sandwich, a bullhorn, whiskey and a lawnchair. He climbed to the roof of a nearby house, perched on his lawnchair, and proceeded to lecture the startled emergency crew while enjoying his drink. Three firemen had just finished clearing the house, locating the residents' young golden retriever in the process, when they heard the now drunk Nite-Man's imperious command. "Drop the dog and open the hydrant this instant you penis capped fireman!" They turned in surprise and dropped the yelping puppy, which fell through the burning timbers and burst into flames. Onlookers mobbed the base of the heckler's house and threw cans and shrubbery at the obstreperous critic, who batted the projectiles aside with his bullhorn while continuing to drink whiskey and issue commands. "The north side is engaged!" "Position the hose along the azalea bushes!" "Stop picking your nose!" Sorely provoked, the the senior fireman, currently on administrative leave, picked up the dead (but still burning) dog and flung it at Nite-Man. The flaming dog landed in Nite-Man's, igniting his spilled whiskey and severely burning his crotch. Nite-Man heaved the dog off himself, but neglected to brace his feet on the slanted roof. The lawnchair began to slip faster and faster dwon the slanted roof and fell from the house, miraculously avoiding onlookers, who watched aghast while the prostrate Nite-man suffered further injuries by falling into the same azalea bushes and having hot embers and his own roof-top accoutrements strike him, including the Bullhorn which struck Nite-Man in the right temple and the whiskey bottle which hit him squarely in the proboscus. The house fire was eventually subdued, and paramedics transported the injured Nite-Man and his loudspeaker to the hospital. Although he is recovering from his injuries, the prognosis is that he will never again be able to procreate with quite the same gusto....thank God.