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To: CerealMan who wrote (84045)5/11/2001 3:42:32 PM
From: Buckey  Respond to of 150070
 
I am holding Free NWKC from last friday and they are slinking up nicely - Too bad I was not so prudent on my COMM buy



To: CerealMan who wrote (84045)5/11/2001 4:02:18 PM
From: Patsyw  Read Replies (2) | Respond to of 150070
 
Here are some real-life Church Bulletin excerpts. See what a slip of the
fingers on the keyboard can do.
? Missionary Bertha Belch from Africa speaking tonight. Come and
hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.
? Ushers will eat latecomers.
? The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without
musical accomplishment.
? During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare
privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.
? Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be
recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children. ? Today the
pastor will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing,
"Break Forth into Joy!"
? The choir will meet at the Larsen house for fun and sinning. ?
Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It is a good chance to
get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your
husbands.
? Don't let worry kill you - let the church help. ? Next
Sunday is the family hayride and bonfire at the Fowlers. Bring your own
hot dogs and guns. Friends are welcome! Everyone come for a fun time.
? Easter Sunday, we will have a 9:30 worship service. The 11:00
will be hell as usual.
? Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "hell" to someone
who doesn't care much about you.
? Weight Watchers will meet at 7 pm. Please use the large double
doors at the side entrance.
? The 8th graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the
church basement on Friday at 7 pm. The congregation is invited to attend
this tragedy.
? The peace-making meeting scheduled for today has been
cancelled due to a conflict.
? Tonight's sermon -- "What is hell?" Come early and listen
to our
choir practice.
? This afternoon there will be a meeting in the North and South
ends of the church. Babies will be baptized at both ends. ?
Tuesday at 4 pm, there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving
milk, please come early.
? Thursday night -- Potluck supper -- payer & medication to
follow. ? Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church
and community. ? For those of you who have children and don't
know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
? The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water". The
sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus". ? Next Thursday, there
will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
? The agenda was adopted . . . the minutes were approved . . .
the
financial secretary gave a grief report.
? Barbara C. remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for
more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests
tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.
? The "Over 60s Choir" will be disbanded for the summer with the
thanks of the entire church.
? The May meeting of the church finance committee will be hell
as usual.
? The cost for attending the Fasting & Prayer conference
includes meals.



To: CerealMan who wrote (84045)5/11/2001 6:10:29 PM
From: KOLOSSOS  Read Replies (1) | Respond to of 150070
 
Here's a good point! (funny)

Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother,
"Why is the bride dressed in white?"

"Because white is the color of happiness and today is the happiest day of her life,"
her mother tried to explain, keeping it simple.

The child thought about this for a moment, then said,
"So, why's the groom wearing black?"