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Microcap & Penny Stocks : TGL WHAAAAAAAT! Alerts, thoughts, discussion. -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: CerealMan who wrote (84208)	5/15/2001 5:54:00 PM
From: dreamer	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 150070

Three guys die in an accident and go to heaven. When they get there, St.Peter says, "We only have one rule in heaven. Don't step on the Ducks!" So they enter heaven and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck and although they try their best to avoid them, the first guy accidentally steps on one. Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest woman he ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says, "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly woman. The next day, the second guy steps accidentally on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing, and with him is another extremely ugly woman. He chains them together with the same admonishment as the first guy. The third guy has observed all this and not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly woman, is very careful where he steps. He manages to go months without stepping on any duck. One day St. Peter comes up to him with the most gorgeous woman he had ever laid eyes on a very tall, tanned, curvaceous, sexy blonde. St. Peter chains them together without saying a word. The guy remarks, "wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all eternity? She says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck."

To: CerealMan who wrote (84208)	5/15/2001 10:04:36 PM
From: Jim Bishop	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 150070

DARWIN AWARDS NEWSLETTER -- 15 May 2001 DARWIN AWARDS posthumously honor the remains of those who chlorinated the gene pool by removing themselves from it in sublimely idiotic ways. "Where Evolution Hits the Pavement." CALL GIRL -- 2001 Honorable Mention (Confirmed) 25 April 2001, New York "Why don't you come back and meet me here?" He thought she was calling to arrange a hot date, but he was wrong. The 29-year-old rapist had not only assaulted his victim, but also stolen $70 and her cell phone after poking her in the neck with a pair of tweezers. As soon as he left her building she summoned help, and police encouraged her to assist in the capture of the rapist. Under their watchful eye, she called him on her own cell phone and courageously coaxed him back to her apartment. The woman was an excellent actress. Her attacker arrived for his "date" an hour later with a 40-ounce bottle of Heineken in his hand and her panties and cell phone tucked in his pocket. Police took the man, who had a long criminal record, into custody. His victim really did a number on him! --------------------------------------------+---+-+---+-+-+-+-+ Win a FREE Book! DARWIN AWARDS: Evolution in Action. darwinawards.com --------------------------------------------+---+-+---+-+-+-+-+ KILLING TIME -- 2001 Darwin Award Nominee (Unconfirmed) 2001, England Electric trains in Glasgow collect power from the overhead cable, and transmit any excess through the rails to a solid copper cable that routes it to a power redistribution box. Copper is a favorite target for thieves. One enterprising fellow with a good knowledge of the electrical system planned to cut the copper cable during the time between trains, when no electricity was travelling through it. His plan might have worked… but for one small flaw. In the pocket of his charred overcoat, police found an out-of-date rail timetable. The train arrived ten minutes before he thought it would, sending hundreds of volts of electricity through the thief's hacksaw and into his body, and putting an untimely end to his career.