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Strategies & Market Trends : Three Amigos Stock Thread -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Ken W who wrote (25072)	5/18/2001 11:21:15 AM
From: JoeinIowa	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 29382

Ken, I believe one of the ones below was written by you. LOL. Perhaps number 7? Joe STOCK MARKET DEFINITIONS Momentum Investing - The fine art of buying high and selling low Value Investing - The art of buying low and selling lower. Broker - Poorer than you were in 1999. P/E ratio - The percentage of investors wetting their pants as this market keeps crashing. "Buy, Buy" - A flight attendant making market recommendations as you step off the plane. Standard & Poor - Your life in a nut shell. Stock Analyst - Idiot who just downgraded your stock. Bull Market - A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius. Bear Market - A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry and the husband gets no sex. Stock split - When your ex-spouse and lawyer split all your assets equally between themselves. Financial Planner - A guy who actually remembers his wallet when he runs to the 7-11 for toilet paper and cigarettes Market Correction - The day after you buy stocks. Call Option - Something people used to do with a telephone in ancient times before e-mail. Day Traitor - Someone who is disloyal from 9-5 Microsoft - A condition temporarily remedied by Viagra. Cisco - Side kick of Poncho. Yahoo - What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $540 per share. Windows 2000 - What you jump out of when you're the sucker that bought Yahoo for $540 per share. Institutional Investor - Past year investor who's now locked up in a nut house. Profit - Religious guy who talks to God. Bill Gates - Where God goes for a loan. Alan Greenspan - God