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Strategies & Market Trends : Three Amigos Stock Thread -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?


To: Ken W who wrote (25072)5/18/2001 11:21:15 AM
From: JoeinIowa  Read Replies (2) | Respond to of 29382
 
Ken,

I believe one of the ones below was written by you. LOL. Perhaps number 7?

Joe

STOCK MARKET DEFINITIONS

Momentum Investing - The fine art of buying high and selling low

Value Investing - The art of buying low and selling lower.

Broker - Poorer than you were in 1999.

P/E ratio - The percentage of investors wetting their pants as this market
keeps crashing.

"Buy, Buy" - A flight attendant making market recommendations as you step off
the plane.

Standard & Poor - Your life in a nut shell.

Stock Analyst - Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

Bull Market - A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself
for a financial genius.

Bear Market - A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife
gets no jewelry and the husband gets no sex.

Stock split - When your ex-spouse and lawyer split all your assets equally
between themselves.

Financial Planner - A guy who actually remembers his wallet when he runs to
the 7-11 for toilet paper and cigarettes

Market Correction - The day after you buy stocks.

Call Option - Something people used to do with a telephone in ancient times
before e-mail.

Day Traitor - Someone who is disloyal from 9-5

Microsoft - A condition temporarily remedied by Viagra.

Cisco - Side kick of Poncho.

Yahoo - What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $540 per share.

Windows 2000 - What you jump out of when you're the sucker that bought Yahoo
for $540 per share.

Institutional Investor - Past year investor who's now locked up in a nut
house.

Profit - Religious guy who talks to God.

Bill Gates - Where God goes for a loan.

Alan Greenspan - God