Silicon Investor (SI) -- The First Internet Community

STOCKTALK

We've detected that you're using an ad content blocking browser plug-in or feature. Ads provide a critical source of revenue to the continued operation of Silicon Investor. We ask that you disable ad blocking while on Silicon Investor in the best interests of our community. If you are not using an ad blocker but are still receiving this message, make sure your browser's tracking protection is set to the 'standard' level.

Strategies & Market Trends : Drillbits & Bottlerockets -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: SmoothSail who wrote (12932)	5/24/2001 12:44:16 AM
From: Doppler	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 15481

Actually I was being attacked (along with your son) after we came to the defense of Gloop who was the original recipient of an un-called for diatribe. OMD's response was classic Dog though. Funny as h*ll ! Message 15844061

To: SmoothSail who wrote (12932)	5/24/2001 1:14:24 AM
From: HG	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 15481

Damn ! I always miss all the fun ! Must go back and read though ! I was lap top-less till 4:30 pm today :-(

To: SmoothSail who wrote (12932)	5/24/2001 10:23:37 AM
From: Diana	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 15481

Down here in the Lab at JXMGalactic, information has just come to my attention that is most worrisome for our employees. I knew many of us, myself included, were Librarians, but now I find that some of us either are or consort with English teachers . . . LITERATURE ABUSE: AMERICA'S HIDDEN PROBLEM SELF-TEST FOR LITERATURE ABUSERS How many of these apply to you? 1. I have read fiction when I was depressed, or to cheer myself up. 2. I have gone on reading binges of an entire book or more in a day. 3. I read rapidly, often 'gulping' chapters. 4. I have sometimes read early in the morning or before work. 5. I have hidden books in different places to sneak a chapter without being seen. 6. Sometimes I avoid friends or family obligations in order to read novels. 7. Sometimes I re-write film or television dialog as the characters speak. 8. I am unable to enjoy myself with others unless there is a book nearby. 9. At a party, I will often slip off unnoticed to read. 10. Reading has made me seek haunts and companions which I would otherwise avoid. 11. I have neglected personal hygiene or household chores until I have finished a novel. 12. I have spent money meant for necessities on books instead. 13. I have attempted to check out more library books than permitted. 14. Most of my friends are heavy fiction readers. 15. I have sometimes passed out from a night of heavy reading. 16. I have suffered 'blackouts' or memory loss from a bout of reading. 17. I have wept, become angry or irrational because of something I read. 18. I have sometimes wished I did not read so much. 19. Sometimes I think my reading is out of control. - If you answered 'yes' to three or more of these questions, you may be a Literature Abuser. - Affirmative responses to five or more indicates a serious problem. Once a relatively rare disorder, Literature Abuse (LA), has risen to new levels due to the accessibility of higher education and increased college enrollment since the end of the Second World War. The number of literature abusers is currently at record levels. SOCIAL COSTS OF LITERARY ABUSE: Abusers become withdrawn, uninterested in society or normal relationships. They fantasize, creating alternative worlds to occupy, to the neglect of friends and family. In severe cases they develop bad posture from reading in awkward positions or carrying heavy book bags. In the worst instances, they become cranky reference librarians in small towns. Excessive reading during pregnancy is perhaps the number one cause of moral deformity among the children of English professors, teachers of English and creative writing. Known as Fetal Fiction Syndrome, this disease also leaves its victims prone to a lifetime of nearsightedness, daydreaming and emotional instability. HEREDITY: Recent Harvard studies have established that heredity plays a considerable role in determining whether a person will become an abuser of literature. Most abusers have at least one parent who abused literature, often beginning at an early age and progressing into adulthood. Many spouses of an abuser become abusers themselves. OTHER PREDISPOSING FACTORS: Fathers or mothers who are English teachers, professors, or heavy fiction readers; parents who do not encourage children to play games, participate in healthy sports, or watch television in the evening. PREVENTION: Pre-marital screening and counseling, referral to adoption agencies in order to break the chain of abuse. English teachers in particular should seek partners active in other fields. Children should be encouraged to seek physical activity and to avoid isolation and morbid introspection. DECLINE AND FALL - THE ENGLISH MAJOR: Within the sordid world of Literature Abuse, the lowest circle belongs to those sufferers who have thrown their lives and hopes away to study literature in our colleges. Parents should look for signs that their children are taking the wrong path -- don't expect your teenager to approach you and say, "I can't stop reading Spenser." By the time you visit her dorm room and find the secret stash of the "Paris Review," it may already be too late. What to do if you suspect your child is becoming an English major: 1. Talk to your child in a loving way. Show your concern. Let her know you won't abandon her, but that you aren't spending a hundred grand to put her through Stanford so she can clerk at Waldenbooks, either. But remember that she may not be able to make a decision without help; perhaps she has just finished Madame Bovary and is dying of arsenic poisoning. 2. Face the issue: Tell her what you know, and how: "I found this book in your purse. How long has this been going on?" Ask the hard question: "Who is this Count Vronsky?" 3. Show her another way. Move the television set into her room. Introduce her to frat boys on campus. 4. Do what you have to do. Tear up her library card. Make her stop signing her letters as 'Emma.' Force her to take a math class, or minor in Spanish. Transfer her to a Florida college. You may be dealing with a life-threatening problem if one or more of the following applies: * She can tell you how and when Thomas Chatterton died. * She names one or more of her cats after a Romantic poet. * Next to her bed is a picture of: Lord Byron, Virginia Woolf, Faulkner, or any scene from the Lake District. Most importantly, remember, you are not alone. To seek help for yourself or someone you love, contact the nearest chapter of the American Literature Abuse Society, or look under ALAS in your telephone directory. Contributed by: George (don't bug me now, I'm reading) Myers