I received this today, and thought it quite funny...Maybe Texas has imagined itself larger than it is, but it is timely, none the less.
Ok, Folks.. Texas has given all those complainers plenty of time to get used
to the results. After seeing the whiners along the inauguration route, the
folks from Texas have decided that we might just take matters into our own
hands. Here is our solution:
#1: Let Al Gore become President of the United States (all 49 states).
>
#2: George W. Bush becomes the President of the Republic of Texas.
So what does Texas have to do to survive as a Republic? NASA in Houston,
Texas (we will control the space industry). We refine over 85% of the
gasoline in the United States Defense Industry (we have over 65% of it). The
term "Don't mess with Texas," will take on a whole new meaning.
Oil - we can supply all the oil that the Republic of Texas will need for the
next 300 years. Yankee states? Sorry about that.
Natural Gas - Again we have all we need and it's too bad about those northern
states. Al Gore will figure a way to keep them warm....
Computer Industry - we currently lead the nation in producing computer chips
and communications: Small places like Texas Instruments, Dell Computer, EDS,
Raytheon, National Semiconductor, Motorola, Intel, AMD, Atmel, Applied
Materials, Ball Semiconductor, Dallas Semiconductor, Delphi, Nortel, Alcatel,
Etc,Etc.
The list goes on and on.
Health Centers - We have the largest research centers for Cancer research,
the best burn centers and the top trauma units in the world, and other large
health planning centers.
We have enough colleges to keep us going: UT, Texas A&M, Rice, SMU,
University of Houston, Baylor, UNT, Texas Women's University, etc. Ivy grows
better in the South anyway.
We have a ready supply of workers (just open the border when we need some
more.
We have control of the paper industry, plastics, insurance, etc.
In case of a foreign invasion, we have the Texas National Guard and the Texas
Air National Guard. We don't have an army but since everybody down here has
at least six rifles and a pile of ammo, we can raise an army in 24 hours if
we need it. If the situation really gets bad, we can always call Department
of Public Safety and ask them to send over a couple Texas Rangers.
We are totally self sufficient in beef, poultry, hogs and vegetable produce
and everybody down here knows how to cook them so that they taste good. Don't
need any food.
This just names a few of the items that will keep the Republic of Texas in
good shape. There isn't a thing out there that we need and don't have.
Now to the rest of the United States under President Gore: Since you won't
have the refineries to get gas for your cars, only President Gore will be
able to drive around in his 9 mile per gallon SUV. The rest of the United
States will have to walk or ride bikes. You won't have any TV as the space
center in Houston will cut off your communications. You won't have any
natural gas to heat your homes but since Mr. Gore has predicted global
warming, you will not need the gas.
Just a few notes on REAL election results:
Total Counties won by Bush: 2,434
Total Counties won by Gore: 677
Population of counties won by Bush: 143 million.
Population of counties won by Gore: 127 million
Square miles of country won by Bush: 2,427,000
Square miles of country won by Gore: 580,000
States won by Bush: 29
States won by Gore: 19
And an even more remarkable finding....
Average Murder per 100,000 residents in counties won by Bush: 0.1
Average Murder per 100,000 residents in counties won by Gore:13.2
Researchers found one more interesting fact that might help explain these
disparate murder rates. Gun ownership in the counties won by Mr. Bush is much
higher than in the counties won by Mr. Gore.
Signed, The People in Texas |
