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Strategies & Market Trends : VOLTAIRE'S PORCH-MODERATED -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Dealer who wrote (37452)	6/3/2001 5:45:58 PM
From: Ponderosa	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 65232

For general amusement...some chuckles someone e-mailed to me recently... Financial Glossary:------- Momentum Investing - The fine art of buying high and selling low. -------- Value Investing - The art of buying low and selling lower. -------- Broker - Poorer than you were in 1999. -------- P/E ratio - The percentage of investors wetting their pants as this market keeps crashing. --------- Standard & Poor - Your life in a nut shell. -------- Stock Analyst - Idiot who just downgraded your stock. ---------- Bull Market - A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius. ---------- Bear Market - A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry and the husband gets no sex. ------------ Stock split - When your ex-wife and her lawyer split all your assets equally between themselves. ----------- Market Correction - The day after you buy stocks. ----------- Cash Flow - The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet. Also the definition of "Feeling Flushed". ----------- Call Option - Something people used to do with a telephone in ancient times before e-mail. ---------- Cisco - Side kick of Poncho. ----------- Yahoo - What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $540 per share. --------- Windows 2000 - What you jump out of when you're the sucker that bought Yahoo for $540 per share. ---------- Institutional Investor - Past year investor who's now locked up in a nut house. ----------- Profit - Religious guy who talks to God. ---------- Bill Gates - Where God goes for a loan. -------- Alan Greenspan - God.