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Microcap & Penny Stocks : TGL WHAAAAAAAT! Alerts, thoughts, discussion. -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: CerealMan who wrote (86308)	6/15/2001 4:12:59 PM
From: CerealMan	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 150070

friday's funnies... A young man was in love with two women and could not decide which of them to marry. Finally he went to a marriage counselor. When asked to describe his two loves, he noted that one was a great poet and the other made delicious pancakes. "Oh," said the counselor, "I see what the problem is. You can't decide whether to marry for batter or verse." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ You've heard about AOL raising their prices, haven't you? Here's the reasons why: 10. Customers now get double the unlimited amount of time per month. 9. Faltering internet sector, sagging demand perfect time to raise prices. 8. Guy who says, "You've got mail." renegotiated his contract. 7. Much better deal for customers. Before it was $263.40 for a full year now it's only $262.90 for those same 11 months. 6. Trying to change Americans belief of, "If it costs more, it's better." 5. Now that an @aol.com address cost more to get, it gains that much more prestige. 4. Building up cash reserves for Year 2000 apocalypse. 3. AOL chat rooms getting new carpet. 2. Nuclear warheads are getting expensive. 1. Ted Turner needs to buy his soul back from Satan. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Signs you're experiencing Menopause: ~ Hot Flashes: You sell your home heating system at a yard sale. ~ Night Sweats: The person you sleep with complains about snow piling up on the bed. ~ Mood Swings: Your husband jokes that instead of buying a wood stove, he is using you to heat the family room this winter. Rather than just saying you are not amused, you shoot him. ~ Memory Loss: You write post-it notes with your kid's names on them. ~ Irritability: Your husband chirps, "Hi honey, I'm home," and your reply is, "Well, if it isn't Ozzie bloody Nelson." ~ Sleeplessness: The Phenobarbital dose that wiped out the Heaven's Gate Cult gives you four hours of decent rest. ~ Fatigue: You find Guacamole in your hair after a Mexican dinner. ~ Mild Incontinence: You change your underwear after every sneeze. ~ Sudden Weight Gain: You need the 'Jaws Of Life' to help you out of your car after returning home from an Italian restaurant. ~ Dryness: You ask Jiffy Lube to put you up on a hoist. ~ Female Hormone Deficiency: You take a sudden interest in "Wrestlemania". ~ Hormone Therapy: You're on so much estrogen that you take your Brownie troop on a field trip to Chippendales... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A drunken man gets on the bus late one night, staggers up the aisle, and sits next to an elderly woman. She looks the man up and down and says, I've got news for you. "You're going straight to hell!" The man jumps up out of his seat and shouts, "Dammmmmn, I'm on the wrong bus!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A new business was opening and one of the owner's friends wanted to send flowers for the occasion. They arrived at the new business site and the owner read the card; it said "Rest in Peace". The owner was angry and called the florist to complain. After he had told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was,the florist said. "Sir, I'm really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry you should imagine this: somewhere there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying, "Congratulations on your new location. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Two asparagus were walking down the street when a car hit one of them. He was taken to the hospital. When the doctor came out he said to the other asparagus, "I have good news and bad news, the good news is that your friend died. The bad news is that if your friend had lived he would have remained a vegetable for the rest of his life." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A boy frog telephones the Psychic Hotline and his Personal Psychic Advisor tells him: "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you." The frog is thrilled, "This is great! Will I meet her at a party? "No," says his Advisor, "in her biology class." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ and finally... Once a youg woman married a very wealthy man they lived many happy years until after about 10 years he passed away, of course leaving her a very wealthy widow. Still being youg after her husband had been dead a few years she met an actor they married and she saw many broadway shows, many of which he was the star, they traveled but after they'd been married about 10 years he too passed away. This was 2 husbands she had to bury. Still being a young woman of about 40, she began going to church. She met their new pastor they fell in love and married, unfortunatly after a few years he to passed away. Well this is her 3rd husband she'd had to bury. Again still being a desirable woman she met a wonderful man, he was a mortician. After they'd been married about 5 years, she took ill and she passed away. Some people say...that she married 1 for the money, 2 for the show 3 to get ready and 4 to GO...ROTFLOL... have a good weekend... good fortune... pops