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To: Skeeter Bug who wrote (107871)6/9/2001 7:27:41 PM
From: GraceZ  Read Replies (3) | Respond to of 436258
 
I heard BS like this from well meaning people my whole life. That my chances of success were somehow predetermined by my lousy lot in life. All the kids like me who grew up in children's homes and foster homes heard this kind of crap. We were told that there was a really good chance we'd wind up as drug addicts or criminals or child abusers like our parents were. The terrible thing is that if you feed someone these ideas long enough they start believing it and then they start using it as an excuse for their own bad behavior. Even as a small child I was determined to prove the stupid social workers wrong. I decided a long time ago that if I was ever going to be free of this predetermined fate they had for me, I had to have a different future in my head for how things would turn out. But even being aware of these things didn't save me from heading down the path to a drug addiction, but it did helped me get out of it.

Success is a learned behavior. I was fortunate in that I had any number of people who were successful who were more than happy to show me how things worked once I got up the courage to ask. Once you figure that out, once you leave behind the idea that your future is somehow laid out by your accident of birth you can then change those behaviors in your life that keep you locked up in a ten by ten foot room. The important thing to realize is that there is a lock on the door and you are the only one who has the key.



To: Skeeter Bug who wrote (107871)6/9/2001 8:53:51 PM
From: Ilaine  Read Replies (2) | Respond to of 436258
 
>>throw in poor and abusive (ok, redundant) parents<<

Huh? Poor parents are abusive?