To: T L Comiskey who wrote (2032 ) 6/15/2001 1:28:37 PM From: D.B. Cooper Read Replies (2) | Respond to of 13815 I found this posted by IOWAMAN on Dr. Bobs board seems to fit in with your train of thought<VBG> TO WOMEN EVERYWHERE FROM A MAN WHO'S HAD ENOUGH: Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us griping about you leaving it down. ALL men see in only 16 colors. Peach is a fruit, not a color If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair.One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married Women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again! If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks. Shopping is not a sport, and no, we're never going to think of it that way. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really. You have enough clothes. You have too many shoes. Crying is blackmail. Ask for what you want. Let's be clear on this one: Subtle hints don't work. Strong hints don't work. Really obvious hints don't work. Just say it! Peeing standing up is more difficult. We're bound to miss sometimes. Most guys own three pairs of shoes. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress? Yes, and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. Let us ogle. We're going to look anyway; it's genetic. You can either tell us to do something OR tell us how to do something, but not both. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. If we ask what's wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like Nothing's wrong. We know you're lying, but it's just not worth the hassle. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know we really don't mind that, it's like camping!