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Politics : PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: ColtonGang who wrote (159023)	7/8/2001 5:29:10 PM
From: ColtonGang	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 769670

Off the internet:Rush Limbaugh Jokes Rush Limbaugh and his chauffeur were out driving in the country and accidentally hit and killed a pig that had wandered out on a country road. Limbaugh told the chauffeur to drive up to the farm and apologize to the farmer. They drove up to the farm, the chauffeur got out and knocked on the front door and was let in. He was in there for what seemed hours. When he came out, Limbaugh asked why his driver had been there so long. "Well, first the farmer shook my hand, then he offered me a beer, then his wife brought me some cookies, and his daughter showered me with kisses," explained the driver. "What did you tell the farmer?", Limbaugh asked. The chauffeur replied, "I told him that I was Rush Limbaugh's driver and I'd just killed the pig." What is the difference between Rush Limbaugh and a tub of lard? The tub. Q: What's the difference between the Hindinburg zeppelin and Rush Limbaugh? A: One is a crash-and-burning Nazi gasbag, the other was a derigible. Rush Limbaugh got his rectal nerve crossed with his optic nerve, and it gave him a shitty outlook on life. What's the difference between Rush Limbaugh and God? God isn't treated like Rush Limbaugh. Why does Rush wears a tie To keep the foreskin out of his eyes. What is the difference between Rush Limbaugh and a pothole? You'd swerve to avoid a pothole. Will anybody be bigger than Rush Limbaugh in '95? Yes, Rush Limbaugh in '96. How can Rush Limbaugh and Ronald Reagan stay true conservatives? By taking after Nixon. What do you call a pig with half a brain? Rush Limbaugh. Who took over the roles of Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy after Jim Henson died? Ross Perot and Rush Limbaugh. This lady always wanted an expensive car -- a status symbol to drive around and be seen in. She scrimps and saves, goes to the dealer, and plops down several years income for a brand new state-of-the-art, computer enhanced, kick-ass, dream mobile. She's driving off. Decides she wants some music and searches for the radio. The dashboard looks like a control panel at NASA. She fiddles with this button, that gizmo...jiggles these and those, but finally gives up. Can't find the damned thing. Furious, she races back to the dealership and screams at the salesman. Tells him they forgot to install the radio. He assures her it's right there in front of her. It's hooked into the onboard computer. All she has to do is tell it what she wants. He demonstrates: "Classical", he says. click The car fills with the sounds of Paganini. "Blues", he says, and click a B.B. King classic plays. She drives off amazed. "Country", she says, and click a Garth Brooks tune comes on. "Folk" click Joan Baez sings about the night they drove ol' Dixie down. "New Age" click Yanni at the Acropolis snaps on. She's so captivated by this new toy that she isn't paying much attention to the road. Another driver runs a light and cuts her off. "ASSHOLE!!!" she screams. click "Good morning, everyone. You're listening to the Rush Limbaugh Show"