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Pastimes : The Sauna -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: J. C. Dithers who wrote (930)	7/17/2001 11:38:39 AM
From: Poet	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 1857

What an absolutely terrible tragedy. My heart goes out to the mother. It's drizzling and sticky here. Beware. :)

To: J. C. Dithers who wrote (930)	7/17/2001 12:18:04 PM
From: Rambi	Respond to of 1857

I stick with "I'm sorry" and hope they know I mean well. My brother and his wife lost a son two years ago in a car accident and I found myself avoiding calling him for a year after that. I feel awful about it. It;s so hard to know what people can tolerate in conversation, too. He would break down every time, and yet, I did feel he wanted to talk, so I tried to let him take the lead. I have read that some people want to talk and wish that others weren't so reticent and uncomfortable about mentioning the loss, but my sister-in-law has simply gone into a sort of denial. She refuses to mention her son at all. She lost her father in her teens, and then her brother in a car accident after his prom. I can't imagine the pain she carries. I think she just can't open the door even a bit for fear of being crushed by it all. So I wait for her. By the way, they have 6 cats; she just keeps taking in every stray she finds. She pours out love on them. EDIT- this may explain why I was sort of touchy about the child-pet discussion. It hadn't occurred to me.