More about bedbugs ... a LOT more.
I am so glad that our dear Rambi got me interested in this subject. I have been doing a lot of reading about these little bugs, and have really learned a lot that I didn’t know before. A lot of it was a real surprise to me. I have tried to pull it all together in a report of my own.
I’m thinking of sending it to the American Oxford Children’s Encyclopedia. I probably don’t have a chance, but I think kids should know the truth about these bugs. If some of you would read it and give me your thoughts, I’d really appreciate it. I’ll bet you learn some things you didn’t know! I sure did. I think I have the facts straight, but if you see anything you know is wrong, please let me know. Thanks everyone!
THE BEDBUG (SCIENTIFIC NAME: CIMEX)
Do you have bedbugs? Mention “bedbug” and people recoil in fear and revulsion. While, as we will see, such emotions are groundless, you should learn how to distinguish bedbugs from the other insects that share your home. If you find a tiny bug crawling upon your mattress, do not become alarmed. Our beds are favorite hiding places for a variety of small insects, most of which are harmless and non-biting. Note the color of your bug. The bedbug is generally mahogany brown in color, although blondes or redheads are occasionally seen in the western states. The bedbug has a flat oval body, about one-tenth inch long when adult; measure your specimen with a finely calibrated ruler. Place your insect in the palm of your hand and hold it to your nose. Bedbugs emit an odor produced by stink glands which secrete an oily volatile liquid (some have compared the scent to “Obsession” by Liz Taylor). If still in doubt, examine the bug under a magnifying glass or preferably a high-powered microscope. Look for tiny red splotches around its beak; these are probably blood splatter, a telltale sign of the bedbug. Finally, check your Yellow Pages for the nearest entomologist, who will be able to make a definitive identification.
The anatomy of a bedbug. Fortunately, the bedbug cannot fly: its wings and propellers have long ago degenerated into tiny useless appendages. Among bedbugs, males and females can be readily distinguished by the unusually prominent sexual organ (scientific name: Aretha Maximus) exhibited by males. (In some African regions, male bedbugs are commonly butchered for the sole purpose of obtaining arethae maxima, owing to their reputed aphrodisiacal powers). Bedbugs prefer a liquid diet to solid foods, and their bodies have adapted accordingly. The bedbug's beak has two pairs of stylets: one pair with multi-purpose barbs for piercing, drilling, slicing, sawing, and sewing up the skin of its human host, and an inner pair which form two tubes. Through one of these tubes it injects a saliva which prevents blood from coagulating (apparently, an adaptation for rendering first-aid to other bedbug stroke victims); through the other tube it sucks blood.
How do bedbugs reproduce? It may surprise you to know that the name "bug" frequently and carelessly is applied to insects in general, whereas it really belongs only to certain special kinds. A true bug differs from other insects in that instead of having four stages in its life history -- egg, larva, pupa and adult -- it has only three. Tiny young bedbugs, or "nymphs" (scientific name: <Nymphomaniae), resemble their parents as soon as hatched from the egg. Under favorable conditions a female bedbug may live more than a year and lay as many as 500 eggs which will be responsible for from one to four generations per year. Female bedbugs are the dominant of the species, and following a mating encounter (which generally occurs in a bed, unlike most other, less civilized bugs), a female bedbug will frequently bite off the erect male aretha. While the reason for this behavior is a mystery, free-lance entomologist activist Sally Raphael points out that, “The nymph-care burden on bedbug mothers is something that most people don’t even want to think about; some mothers are caring for as many as 500 nymphs at a time, often with more larvae on the way, and we shouldn’t be surprised that some of these moms just lose it.” (An interesting sidelight: Some social entomologists claim that homosexuality is prevalent among male bedbugs).
The bedbug in history. Bedbugs have been closely associated with man ever since our ancestors lived in caves. The Greeks and Romans were so well acquainted with them that they are mentioned in one of Aristophanes' plays (The Seven Ano Itch) and in Latin writings such as Ode to a Bug by Horace. Our scientific name for the bedbug, Cimex, was the Roman word for “wristwatch.” We know that bedbugs were frequently pitted against Christians in the catacombs of the Coliseum, and that the Roman pop singer, Urethra Minimus, often performed her hit single, “I Never Loved a Bedbug the Way that I Love You,” during half-time festivities. Anthropologists (scientific name: Anthropologists) believe that the Greeks and Romans used these bugs as a remedy for snakebites, as well as for certain diseases such as dandruff, erectile dysfunction, and bed-wetting.
We now know that bedbugs have existed for as long as 80 million years, dating back to the pre-Jurassic, Flintstones age. Incontrovertible proof of this fact was provided by the archeological discovery in 1993 of a fossilized bedbug aretha (sawed off at the stem) found in a fossilized stone bed that had belonged to an early Neanderthal couple, identified from cave wall writings as having been known in their time as “Betty and Barney Rubble.” (Hah-hah, kids, I’m pulling your leg here. Just checking to see if you are still paying attention! Actually, no one knows who the couple was).
Bedbugs, unknown amongst the American Indians, were brought here by the early colonists, who intended to barter them for corn. The unsuspecting Native Americans eagerly made such trades, thinking that the shiny bugs could be strung for necklaces, whereupon bedbugs quickly became widespread and plentiful in our country. In layman’s language, this explains why there are so many bedbugs throughout America.
Do bedbugs cause disease? The bite of a bedbug is not painful. As in the case of a mosquito bite, it is the saliva which may cause the bite to itch and become inflamed in persons with sensitive skin. Any discomfort disappears rapidly, usually within a matter of days or weeks. The amount of blood that a bedbug extracts is infinitesimal. For comparison purposes, a single Red Cross blood donation would provide enough blood to feed a thousand bedbugs for a month. While it has never been proven that bedbugs transmit any disease to humans, bedbugs themselves may contract various conditions from humans, such as venereal disease or whooping cough. In infected areas, such as crowded unsanitary slums, it is often possible to pick out bugs which come from child-infested homes by their pasty blotched faces, listless ways, inflamed arethae, and persistent coughs. Thus, contrary to common misconceptions, humans have nothing to fear from bedbugs, while, unfortunately, the reverse cannot be said.
A day in the life of a bedbug. Most people imagine that a bedbug lays around all day in bed, thinking of nothing except the next meal. It would be hard to get further from the truth (think about it -- when is the last time you saw a fat bedbug?) It is true that bedbugs are nocturnal creatures, and that most of their activity occurs at night. But during their waking hours, bedbugs are very active. They seem to love travel and take trips frequently, usually in peoples' clothing, bedding, mattresses, and furniture. Often bedbug families migrate long distances, as from an empty house to an occupied one nearby, consistent with their highly developed social instincts.
Bedbugs in peace and war. Bedbugs are non-aggressive and generally get along well with other bugs. Their few enemies include cockroaches, a little red ant, and certain spiders (we can only guess that the origin of these feuds may be centuries old, and that whatever the grievances were, they are probably mostly forgotten by living insects). In any event, mankind is by far the bedbug’s greatest natural enemy. Humans have been waging undeclared war against bedbugs ever since caveman invented the club. This has been warfare of the “take no prisoners” variety -- relentless, cruel, and all-out. Man, and yes, housewife, have destroyed entire bedbug communities of hundreds or even thousands. With the advent of sophisticated modern weaponry, such as the aerosol spray can, the death toll in these merciless attacks, usually of a surprise nature, has continued to rise. The single worst documented massacre of a bedbug population occurred at the Paramus, N.J. Motel 6 in 1987, when as many as 10,000 bedbugs lost their lives. The slaughter was indiscriminate as to males, females, and nymphs. Not even larvae were spared. Such events inevitably invite comparison to such incidents as Wounded Knee or The Little Big Horn. While it has received scant media attention, this unrestricted war of man against bedbug, an indisputable case of insect-cleansing, remains a little-known blot on our national conscience. While isolated bedbug atrocities have occurred elsewhere in the world, generally man and bedbug have learned to live in relative harmony everywhere except in the United States.
Recently, there has been a groundswell of support in America for ending the unconscionable war against the bedbug. A group of concerned citizens, led by Sally
Raphael, has formed an organization called “Save the Bedbugs,” with the aim of preventing these creatures from becoming exterminated. To quote Ms. Raphael: “If this
was butterflies, or ladybugs, the American public would not stand for it. It may be just coincidence that those bugs are brightly colored while the bedbug is dark brown,
but I’ll let people decide that for themselves.” At the last Democratic National Convention, Senator Dianne Feinstein (D-Cal.) introduced a motion to include in the
Democratic Party platform a resolution declaring bedbugs to be an endangered bug; unfortunately her motion was not seconded. You can make a difference in this fight for
justice! Further information can be obtained on the web site mentioned at the end of this article.
Learning more about the bedbug. If you would like to learn more about these delightful and fascinating bugs, one of the best ways is a “Bedbug Farm.” Mattel makes one that comes complete with a miniature glass-walled farm house, a miniature king-size bed, transparent Ken and Barbie dolls filled with nourishing, life-like “blood,” and a starter supply of real, live bedbugs. (Magnifying glass not included; recommended at additional cost). Your whole family will have endless hours of enjoyment, as well as education, watching these bugs go about their daily routines of work and play, seeing them swarm all over Ken and Barbie at mealtime, and chuckling over their non-stop sexual antics. Tell your mom and dad to forget video games, and buy you one tomorrow!
You can find answers to all your other bedbug questions on the Internet by visiting www.bedbugs/rambi.com. If you would like to become a part of the growing “Save the
Bedbugs” crusade, you can obtain further information on the web site. |
