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Politics : Sharks in the Septic Tank -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Lane3 who wrote (20542)	8/3/2001 2:43:24 PM
From: jlallen	Respond to of 82486

All the while their parents are bragging about how their kids never gave them a bit of trouble growing up. I know both my kids are perfect!!! <g> JLA

To: Lane3 who wrote (20542)	8/3/2001 5:24:17 PM
From: one_less	Respond to of 82486

I can certainly see the difference. My teenage girls and I know that my opinion is advice at best. There is lots of room for them to live there lives. There are also limits of what I can support as a parent on the one hand and more distant limits of what I can support as a significant other. No problem. However, you failed to mention the obvious. There is also a big difference between offering strong support and guidance and taking a nonjudgemental "buddy," "atta boy" role with your 17 year old boy.

To: Lane3 who wrote (20542)	8/3/2001 6:00:36 PM
From: one_less	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 82486

Really. That sounds like a pretty matter of fact statement. "...30 and 40 year olds who are still trying to be independent of their parents--and most of them are in therapy. All the while their parents are bragging about how their kids never gave them a bit of trouble growing up." At 30 or 40 people who's parents are happy with how things turned out require therapy because they are so messed up. The presumption then is that at 30 or 40 people who's parents absolutely gave up on them and said, "do what ever you want, no body cares;" are well adjusted and happy. You must have some empirical evidence to back this up or you wouldn't be so pat about it. Or were you just BSing me again? yer sech a kidder

To: Lane3 who wrote (20542)	8/4/2001 7:23:56 AM
From: Neocon	Respond to of 82486

There is a difference between breaking their spirit and maintaining their confidence. I have known the sort of parents who grind their kids down, or create circumstances where the kids are mealy mouthed sneaks. I have also known the sort of parents whose kids trust them and rely on them, and who therefore remain important in their lives. It is true that normal teenagers have conflict, and therefore even in the best of relationships, there will be occasional contretemps, as they chafe at things. If they are not afraid of you, if their spirits are not broken, they will sometimes rebel. However, if you are sensitive to their position, and they trust you and respect you, the rebellion will rarely be terribly serious or hurtful.........