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Politics : Sharks in the Septic Tank -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: The Philosopher who wrote (20649)	8/5/2001 7:42:54 PM
From: Dayuhan	Respond to of 82486

I don't know why you have this thing about repeating the same error over and over. What exactly is the error? Your anecdotal experience may be fine for you, but in the world of science it bears little, if any, impact. When this conversation started we weren't talking about the world of science, we were talking about the uncertain and complex world of anecdotal experience, particularly the experiences of parents that have to prepare children for and help them deal with the sexual pressures of adolescence. If a leading expert in theoretical aerodynamics tells you that a bumblebee can't fly, and you see one fly across the room, do you believe the expert or do you believe the anecdotal experience? I am actually quite willing to accept the proposition that the decision-making capabilities of the adolescent brain are not fully evolved. That, however, is an entirely different question than the one I am addressing. The question that I am addressing is that the way our society is structured does in fact force adolescents to make decisions, about sex and about many other things, whether their brains are ready to make decisions or not. Parents have to deal with this reality, whether they like it or not. They have to decide how they are going to deal with it. The questions are these. We are parents. We know that our children will be forced by their environment to make decisions, probably before they are ready to do so. How best do we prepare them - and ourselves - for those decision making moments? If we know that an adolescent child faces a sexual decision, and we know that the decision will be made in our absence, what do we say to that child? Do we say "the cutting edge of neurobiological research indicates that your brain is insufficiently developed to deal with this situation, therefore I will tell you what to do"? Or do we say "I know you have a hard decision in front of you and I know that ultimately you have to make it, let's sit down and talk this through, so you can clarify the situation and make the decision that's really best for you"? I know what I'd say. What would you say? Let's take this back to reality, please. I'm not here to niggle over the borderline between choice and decision. I'd like to have a reasonable conversation about how parents can prepare for and manage young people that are or will soon be faced with sexual situations. You talk about theory, but you have not told us yet how this theory applies in the real-world situations that parents face every day. With your intimate knowledge of brain research, how would you suggest that we prepare children for the sexual pressures and negotiations of mid to late adolescence? How would you suggest that a parent manage a 17 year old that is facing a situation where sex is a possibility? Remember, always, that whatever you say, the child always has the option - call it choice or decision - to ignore you. Other issues will have to wait; a busy day away from the computer looms.