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To: Neenny who wrote (3687)	8/9/2001 1:15:14 AM
From: Lazarus_Long	Respond to of 10077

AH! A women of discerning taste, I see! The thing to keep in mind is that the lawyers are really the jokes. Mary reported for jury duty and immediately asked to be excused because she was prejudiced. “I took one look at those shifty eyes and that sleazy polyester suit and I knew that he was guilty as sin.” “Sit down,” said the judge. “That is the prosecuting attorney.” Farmer Joe was suing a trucking company for injuries sustained in an accident. In court, the company's fancy lawyer was questioning Farmer Joe. "Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine'?" said the lawyer. Farmer Joe responded, "Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule Bessie into the...." "I didn't ask for any details," the lawyer interrupted. "Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine'?" Farmer Joe continued, "Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the road...." The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman that he was just fine. Now, several months after the accident, he is suing my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question." But the judge was interested in Farmer Joe's story and said to the lawyer, "I'd like to hear what he has to say about his mule Bessie." Joe thanked the judge and proceeded. "Well, as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite mule, into the trailer and was driving her down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the side. "I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurting real bad and didn't want to move. However, I could hear ole Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans. "Shortly after the accident a highway patrolman came on the scene. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes. Then the patrolman came across the road with his gun in his hand and looked at me. "He said, 'Your mule was in such bad shape I had to shoot her. How are you feeling?'"

To: Neenny who wrote (3687)	8/9/2001 1:44:10 AM
From: Lazarus_Long	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 10077

A lawyer was filling out a job application when he came to the question: “Have you ever been arrested?” He answered “no.” The next question, intended for those who answered the preceding question yes, was “why?” Nevertheless, the lawyer answered it “Never got caught.” A lawyer’s job is secure -- who would build a robot to do nothing? You shouldn't encourage me. Just ask mph and OMD.