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To: 2MAR$ who wrote (10520)	8/12/2001 3:41:55 PM
From: 2MAR$	Respond to of 208838

Oh just one more lawyer joke -->How many lawyers to change a light bulb? Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? A1: It only takes one lawyer to change your light bulb to his light bulb. A2: You won't find a lawyer who can change a light bulb. But if you're looking for a lawyer --->to screw a light bulb... A3: Whereas the party of the first part, also known as "Lawyer", and the party of the second part, also known as "Light Bulb", do hereby and forthwith agree to a transaction wherein the party of the second part (Light Bulb) shall be removed from the current position as a result of failure to perform previously agreed upon duties, i.e., the lighting, elucidation, and otherwise illumination of the area ranging from the front (north) door, through the entryway, terminating at an area just inside the primary living area, demarcated by the beginning of the carpet, any spillover illumination being at the option of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) and not required by the aforementioned agreement between the parties. The aforementioned removal transaction shall include, but not be limited to, the following steps: 1.) The party of the first part (Lawyer) shall, with or without elevation at his option, by means of a chair, stepstool, ladder or any other means of elevation, grasp the party of the second part (Light Bulb) and rotate the party of the second part (Light Bulb) in a counter-clockwise direction,this point being non-negotiable. 2.) Upon reaching a point where the party of the second part (Light Bulb) becomes separated from the party of the third part ("Receptacle"), the party of the first part (Lawyer) shall have the option of disposing of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) in a manner consistent with all applicable state, local and federal statutes. 3.) Once separation and disposal have been achieved, the party of the first part (Lawyer) shall have the option of beginning installation of the party of the fourth part ("New Light Bulb"). This installation shall occur in a manner consistent with the reverse of the procedures described in step one of this self-same document, being careful to note that the rotation should occur in a clockwise direction, this point also being non-negotiable. NOTE: The above described steps may be performed, at the option of the party of the first part (Lawyer), by any or all persons authorized by him, the objective being to produce the most possible revenue for the party of the fifth part, also known as "Partnership."

To: 2MAR$ who wrote (10520)	8/12/2001 3:45:21 PM
From: Sully-	Respond to of 208838

Lawyer Joke............. How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Their lips are moving. :-o

To: 2MAR$ who wrote (10520)	8/12/2001 3:51:29 PM
From: keithcray	Respond to of 208838

TOP 10 REASONS WHY LAWYERS SHOULD REPLACE LAB RATS 10. There is an endless supply 9. Lab assistants don't get attached to them 8. It's more fun to shave and stick needles in lawyers 7. There are some things rats just won't do 6. It's fun to dispose of them when you're through 5. It's not "inhumane" treatment, when it comes to lawyers 4. No one cares when a lawyer squeals 3. We've seen what happens when they are allowed to breed freely 2. Lawyers belong in cages And the #1 reason lawyers should replace lab rats-- 1. Animal rights activist don't care if you torture them