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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?


To: Karen Lawrence who wrote (20217)8/19/2001 12:41:50 PM
From: Karen Lawrence  Respond to of 62552
 
What did the pigeon say to the statue?

Pardon me, but do you have gray poop on you?



To: Karen Lawrence who wrote (20217)8/19/2001 1:01:23 PM
From: bosquedog  Respond to of 62552
 
It's So Hot in Texas That

The birds have to use pot holders to pull worms out of the ground.

Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard boiled eggs.

The cows are giving evaporated milk.

The trees are whistling for the dogs.

A sad Texan once prayed, "I wish it would rain - not so much for me, 'cuz I've seen it - but for my 7-year old."

You no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water.

You eat hot chilies to cool your mouth off.

You can make instant sun tea.

You learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.

The temperature drops below 95, you feel a bit chilly.

You discover that in July, it takes only 2 fingers to drive your car.

You discover that you can get a sunburn through your car window.

You notice that the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.

Hot water now comes out of both taps.

It's noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is out on the streets.

You actually burn your hand opening the car door.

You break a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m. before work.

No one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car.

Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and get cooked to death?"

You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.