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Politics : Sharks in the Septic Tank -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Lane3 who wrote (24933)	8/27/2001 10:47:12 AM
From: jlallen	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 82486

The marriage is slavery argument? JLA

To: Lane3 who wrote (24933)	8/27/2001 10:55:23 AM
From: Lane3	Respond to of 82486

And here's a piece from Don S. Browning. I just hate PDF. Sorry the snippet is so ugly looking. <<What Kind of Love? What is the model of love that fits a critical marriage culture? Cert a i n l y, a g o od marriage re q u i res love, but there are different kinds of love. There are at least three models that are competing in our society to provide our dominant ideals for marital love. One model is associated with the Greek word e ro s . I t sees love as a striving for individual fulfillment, and it views marriage as a means to that fulfillment. This perspective is associated with the philosophies of self-actualization found in many— although not all—of the mod e rn psychotherapies and personality theories. Another view of love is conveyed by the Greek word a g a p e—or at least many i n t e r p retations of this word. It sees marital love as a process of self-giving and self-sacrifice for the good of one’s spouse, with little thought for oneself. This view is associated with mod e rn Protestant perspectives such as those of Luther and Calvin and is often attacked by the advocates of love as eros. Then there is love associated with the Latin word c a r i t a s ; it sees love more as a matter of equal re g a rd and mutuality between husband and wife. It entails giving both equal respect and equal helpfulness to one’s spouse, but it also expects equal respect and help in re t u rn. Self-sacrifice and self-giving are still found in this view of love, but they a re seen less as ends in themselves than as actions and attitudes needed to renew love as equal re g a rd when it becomes fractured and strained. Sacrifice here is a commitment to go the extra mile in order to do what is needed to re s t o re the relationship once again to love as mutuality. This view of love can be found in certain classic Roman Catholic sources, especially the writings of Thomas Aquinas. It also has been advanced by a number of contemp o r a ry theological ethicists in both P rotestantism and Roman Catholicism. It is this third model of love that my colleagues and I advocated in F ro m C u l t u re Wars to Common Gro u n d . It is this kind of love that we think fits best with a critical familism and a critical m a rriage culture. It is the best love for spouses and provides the best context for childre n .>>