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Politics : Sharks in the Septic Tank -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?


To: Lane3 who wrote (24933)8/27/2001 10:47:12 AM
From: jlallen  Read Replies (2) | Respond to of 82486
 
The marriage is slavery argument?

JLA



To: Lane3 who wrote (24933)8/27/2001 10:55:23 AM
From: Lane3  Respond to of 82486
 
And here's a piece from Don S. Browning.

I just hate PDF. Sorry the snippet is so ugly looking.

<<What Kind of Love?

What is the model of love that fits a
critical marriage culture? Cert a i n l y, a
g o od marriage re q u i res love, but there
are different kinds of love. There are at
least three models that are competing
in our society to provide our dominant
ideals for marital love.

One model is
associated with the Greek word e ro s . I t
sees love as a striving for individual fulfillment,
and it views marriage as a
means to that fulfillment. This perspective
is associated with the philosophies
of self-actualization found in many—
although not all—of the mod e rn psychotherapies
and personality theories.

Another view of love is conveyed by
the Greek word a g a p e—or at least many
i n t e r p retations of this word. It sees marital
love as a process of self-giving and
self-sacrifice for the good of one’s
spouse, with little thought for oneself.
This view is associated with mod e rn
Protestant perspectives such as those of
Luther and Calvin and is often attacked
by the advocates of love as eros.

Then there is love associated with
the Latin word c a r i t a s ; it sees love more
as a matter of equal re g a rd and mutuality
between husband and wife. It
entails giving both equal respect and
equal helpfulness to one’s spouse, but it
also expects equal respect and help in
re t u rn. Self-sacrifice and self-giving are
still found in this view of love, but they
a re seen less as ends in themselves than
as actions and attitudes needed to
renew love as equal re g a rd when it
becomes fractured and strained. Sacrifice
here is a commitment to go the
extra mile in order to do what is needed
to re s t o re the relationship once
again to love as mutuality. This view of
love can be found in certain classic
Roman Catholic sources, especially the
writings of Thomas Aquinas. It also has
been advanced by a number of contemp
o r a ry theological ethicists in both
P rotestantism and Roman Catholicism.
It is this third model of love that
my colleagues and I advocated in F ro m
C u l t u re Wars to Common Gro u n d . It is
this kind of love that we think fits best
with a critical familism and a critical
m a rriage culture. It is the best love for
spouses and provides the best context
for childre n .>>



To: Lane3 who wrote (24933)8/27/2001 10:59:55 AM
From: Neocon  Respond to of 82486
 
I am a big fan of James Q. Wilson, but he forgets some of his own insights, about how little things can mean a lot: reverse the trend to easy divorce; lengthen waiting periods for marriage certificates; increase dependent deductions; use public service announcements to point out psychological and health benefits of marriage; etc.