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To: SirRealist who wrote (1073)	8/28/2001 10:49:02 PM
From: bonnuss_in_austin	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 51718

Here's some stuff re stupid tech service questions ... ...that I still find funny. Sorry no link. I saved as a Word file. The Silicon Valley Slang dictionary site is down ... the guy works on it a lot, so I'll keep checking it so that it's 'upwardly loadable' -gg- when I post the link. In the meantime: CUSTOMERS' ANSWERS TO: "WHAT OPERATING SYSTEM DO YOU HAVE?" "It's... Windows 97" Windows 99" O/S 4" Some newell [Novell] thing" Winders" System 3.1" [actually, this user had a pc with Windows 3.1 and a Mac with System 7] Something like a harem guy" [eunuchs - Unix] An empty one. Don't know wht it's called that with all this stuff on the screen" [NT] Linus" [linux] Netscape" "What's an operating system?" ++++++++++ "WHAT KIND OF ERROR MESSAGE ARE YOU GETTING?" "It's a small one in the corner." "It says I need to back up. How far should I be from the computer?" "The screen is black, I can't read it." "No CD is present. Should I put one in?" "Keyboard error. Should it always be connected when I turn on my pc?" "You do not have sufficient permissions to access this folder. But I want that folder. How do I get permission? Is it like a note or something?" "Printer is out of paper. But we don't have any more paper." [When trying to sign on to another computer while signed on elsewhere] "You are limited to one login session. But I want to work on more than one thing at a time." ++++++++++ REGARDING ILLEGAL OPERATION MESSAGES ... "It says... I'm an illegal, but I was born here." I've done something illegal, but I've never even gotten a parking ticket." ...that an illegal action has occurred. I wasn't doing anything wrong." Someone has illegally entered my computer." [application] is illegal, but I bought it at a store. I'm no pirate." My computer has done something illegal. Is this a virus?" ++++++++++ NAMES WE (TECH SUPPORT) HAVE BEEN CALLED: "You're a(n) "computer fixer-upper" "pc jerkoff" "data bunny" "info-highway traffic cop" "byte monkey" "gods of data" "as400-hole" "unix yuckmeister" "condescending mouse-head" "diskless wonder [one coworker to another]" ++++++++++