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To: Jorj X Mckie who wrote (4968)	8/28/2001 7:37:44 PM
From: Alan Smithee	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 10077

A BILL TO REGULATE THE HUNTING AND HARVESTING OF ATTORNEYS, H.R. 372-FUBAR. To provide for the hunting of attorneys as a method of attorney population control. 372. 01 - Any person with a valid state rodent or armadillo hunting license may also hunt and harvest attorneys for recreational and sporting (non-commercial) purposes. 372. 02 -Taking of attorneys with traps or dead falls is permitted. The use of United States currency as bait is, however, prohibited. 372. 03 -The willful killing of attorneys with a motor vehicle is prohibited unless such vehicle is an ambulance being driven in reverse. If an attorney is accidentally struck by a motor vehicle the dead attorney should be removed to the roadside, and the vehicle should proceed to the nearest car wash. 372. 04 - It is unlawful to chase, herd or harvest attorneys from a power boat, helicopter or aircraft. 372. 05 - It is unlawful to shout "WHIPLASH", "AMBULANCE", or "FREE SCOTCH" for the purpose of trapping attorneys. 372. 06 - It is unlawful to hunt attorneys within 100 yards of BMW, Mercedes, or Porsche dealerships, with the exception of Wednesday afternoons. 372. 07 - It is unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 yards of courtrooms, law libraries, health clubs, country clubs or hospitals. 372. 08 - If an attorney gains elective office, it is not necessary to have a license to hunt, trap or possess the same. 372. 09 - It is unlawful for a hunter to wear a disguise as a reporter, accident victim, physician, chiropractor, or tax accountant for the purpose of hunting attorneys. 372. 10 -Bag Limits Per Day: - Yellow-bellied Sidewinders: 2 - Two-faced Tort-feasors: 1 - Back-stabbing Divorce Litigators: 3 - Horn-rimmed Cut-throats: 2 - Minutiae-advocating Chickens: 4 - Honest Attorneys: 0 (Protected, Endangered species.)