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To: cosmicforce who wrote (1404)	9/2/2001 1:38:53 AM
From: Rambi	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 51730

OK- I see what you are saying. You were being actively passive. :) I get it. Thank you for being patient! Let me add that to my list of "good" characteristics.

To: cosmicforce who wrote (1404)	9/2/2001 1:39:10 AM
From: epicure	Respond to of 51730

I think what you mean is you want your tolerance to LOOK passive- you want the person on the receiving end of your tolerance to feel it is effortless for you- that is part of the effect. If you seem anal about your tolerance it doesn't really appear very tolerant. But this tolerance may be (and seems to be) a VERY active process for you. You are suppressing your first impulse, you are trying very hard to go with what you see as the tolerant response. That is very active and not at all passive. It just happens to be internal activity- although it generates an external response- it is just that only you know just how active that external response is (if you are being effective in perfecting your effortless appearance).