"We have received the news that the strike has succeeded," said Yumdeedum.
"Praise Ollie," replied Yumdeedee.
"They are hunting us in Afghanistan," Yumdeedum continued, " the plan is just as Insomnia Bin Hadegain foretold."
"Ollie is with us," Yumdeedee asserted, idly picking out the morning's breakfast from his beard, as a snack.
Announcer: "Folks, now you, too, can capture all the loony antics and hilarity of the bumbling oafs of the Taliban! You'll roar with laughter at the Barney Fifes of Kabul!"
Enjoy it while you can.
The reality may be closer to this:
They await the attack on Kabul. While the media waxes eloquent about the great results of the US attack on Afghanistan, Yomama Bin Longin's Step Two is launched. We can only guess whether it will come as a gas, an explosion or as a vial of anthrax.
And where?
Will it be the NY, Boston or Washington subway? Is Chicago's Sears Tower the next to burn?
Perhaps it will be the nuclear plants.
We are worried about flying but Insipid Bin Hatin is thinking where he can strike to create more fear in America and more praise and support from places he wishes to gain recruits from.
Think 50,000 civilians will satisfy his ego? How 'bout a million, in LA? Maybe the Silicon Valley, symbol of US technology, is the next stop. Perhaps it's the car bomb, next to the nuclear plant.
In a free and open country, so many places can not be easily defended against a cruel but shrewd psychopath from Hell.
If words could take him down, he's died a million times already. Our children... not just our young men anymore... will be sent in pursuit of ghosts and shadows. For all we know, most of the shadows are not in a cave in Afghanistan, but just down the street from us.
Our troops will be sent to destroy his protectors. Did you notice how quickly every two-bit strumpet leader of formerly hostile countries saluted and signed on to our team (or want to)? They know it's their rumps on the front line here; they can't hide in a cave and they 'get it' that we intend to eliminate accomplices and shielders of murderers.
Ohyammer Bent Larder's best chance to ignite a holy war will occur not with this week's spectacle. He needs to prove he can take a punch and win one, two, maybe three more surprise attacks. If he can show enough doubters that we're vulnerable and that he's out-thinking our shrewdest military minds, the recruits will swarm to him.
They are not all Arab. They will be from several races and many nationalities. Not because the world has so many religious adherents, but because the world has so many criminals.
I believe they can be stopped. But that goal may be impossible without the help of mainstream Muslims. That is why it will be important to maintain respect for the faith of the large majority of the Islamic world. We will be judged according to our response; are we attacking the muderers or attacking the faith of hundreds of millions?
And no matter what we do, expect the body count to go much much higher. No evil, calculating warrior fires the best shot up front. He knows this nation is unaccustomed to war and thinks we will tire of it if he can stay hidden and drag it out for years.
Unlike the 1990's quickly-resolved wars, this will be no video game war. This one can hurt bad, again and again. We must use all of our military and civilian intelligence to stop him. We must temper our grief with cool headed resolve, not hotheaded yelling.
This is our Hitler, trying to demonstrate to the youngest impressionable minds that even a superpower is not so powerful. Do not define him by his race or faith; define the enemy by his wicked deeds.
The devotees of Enema Bum Lozenge will not be stopped with words or the mockery of his name that I use herein. He, and they can only be stopped if we first minimize his recruitment base by demonstrating our capacity to target the guilty, not all of Islam or all Arabs or all Afghanis. And by demonstrating our capacity to endure the grave wounds he will unleash upon us. And by crushing out each murderer who tries to bring down all the civilization that exists in the world today.
How best can ordinary (non-soldier) citizens help? By beginning dialogues with the common people in the Islamic world. They are not much different than you and I; let us build a common understanding so we, and they, can all look to the future with real hopes for peace and justice.
This is not just a test for America or Christians. This is a test of Islamic and Jewish and other faiths and peoples. Fail the test and we all will lose a great deal of civilization.
Osama Bin Ladin, Hezbollah, and other terrorist organizations and cells must be rooted out and destroyed. No matter what it takes. No matter how long it takes. It is the biggest test the world has faced in half a century.
We must not fail. We cannot fail. Within the democratic freedoms and light that we have brought the world thus far, lies a common greatness above every individual. This is the part of our strength that Bin Ladin has failed to factor in. We have brought much of the world freedom, and we will bring it to even more. Unless Bin Ladin intends to blow up the sun itself, he is going to learn that Light will always rule over Night.
We will commit our all to the struggle and the Light of Freedom will win.
-Kevin Hayden
PS: Especially today, reflect on the Statue of Liberty, Ellis Island, the words of Emma Lazarus, the commerce, the hope, and the possibilities that New York City has represented to millions across the globe whose immigrants now make up its population. Freedom is New York. New York is all of America.
The murderers may be shrewd and cunning, but they do not understand yet that freedom lovers everywhere are New Yorkers. They attacked more than a city. They attacked a dream that has become real for a planet. And eventually, they will lose, because we are all New Yorkers.
The most the other side can ever hope to be is ruthless murderers selling invisible real estate to defrauded children. They use the tools of Hitler and the sales pitch too. Before this war is over, that will become apparent even to those sympathetic to the murderers now.
I will always be proud to be a New Yorker. |
