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Politics : Sharks in the Septic Tank -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Mac Con Ulaidh who wrote (38945)	11/27/2001 11:36:40 AM
From: Lane3	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 82486

And it doesn't take a great depth of sensitivity to expression to know when someone says something about your pants hanging down whether they are being insulting or teasing you with affection. The former means they really hate your pants and think you look stupid, the latter means they like ya just the way you are but can't help but laugh over your pants hanging down. Maybe that doesn't explain it well, but is the drift there? It explains it perfectly, IMO. I've had occasion to ponder that a number of times over my life as I've moved from place to place and formed new friendships. I've discovered that some people or crowds liberally tease each other as a gesture of affection whereas with others that just isn't done. I've always found the variation interesting. And I've definitely committed some faux pas trying to navigate the different terrain. I'm from the affectionate-insult school. I was pitifully self-conscious as a youngster--so thin skinned that I could sometimes barely function--and I so envied those who were comfortable with the give and take. It took years and years of really hard work to get over it and to the point where I could interpret someone telling me my pants were hanging down as meaning that they like me. Now, If they don't "insult" me, I think they don't like me. I totally understand that there are two schools of thought on this. As a reformed thin-skin, of course, I have a bit of reformist zeal. I teased Tim yesterday, for instance, not knowing for certain that he recognized it as teasing. Tim is so earnest. I'm using the term, thin-skinned, right here in this paragraph with full recognition that some might take offense at that characterization of PCdom. Actually, some might take offense at my "PCdom" label. My own opinion is that you don't have much of a friendship if you can't be candid and that teasing is an expression of trust. But not everyone feels that way. Karen