To: Jim Bishop who wrote (97140 ) 12/2/2001 3:07:11 PM From: CerealMan Read Replies (1) | Respond to of 150070 checking in/friday funny teaser... howdy folks...had surgery on wednesday. there were some complications and they had to cut me wide open. released from the hospital fri afternoon. recovery time expected about 5 weeks...i am feeling much better today. i am trying to cut back on the pain pills...i need them to sleep at night...i came across this in my email, thought the timing was perfect so here goes... Things I Didn't Want To Hear During My Surgery: "Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy." "Someone call the janitor - we're going to need a mop." "Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness" "Bo! Bo! Come back with that! Bad Dog!" "Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?" "Hand me that...uh...that uh.....thingie." "Oh no! I just lost my Rolex." "Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?" "Shoot, there go the lights again...." "Ya know, there's big money in kidneys. Hell, the guy's got two of them." Things I Didn't Want To Hear When I Regained Consciousness: "I don't know what it is, but hurry up and pack it in ice." "Hey Charlie, unzip the bag on that one, he's still moving." "Blink once for 'yes'". "What do you mean we have the wrong patient?" "Why is there a tag on his toe?" "Do you think he can hear us?" "I didn't even know a human could bend that way." "I'm sorry, we must not have used enough anesthesia. Just relax now. We'll be done in a jiffy." "Hold the patient still, we've almost pried it open." "Did the doctor know he would look like that afterward?" "Of course I've performed this operation before, nurse!" "Nurse, make sure you're getting all this down. It'll make a great 'ER' script." good fortune... pops