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Pastimes : Home on the range where the buffalo roam -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Boplicity who wrote (5032)	12/10/2001 3:30:04 PM
From: stockman_scott	Respond to of 13815

From The Late Night Joke Archives... Leno Wow! Geraldo goes to Afghanistan – and three days later the Taliban surrenders! The lawyer for American Johnny Walker, who was captured fighting for the Taliban, now says that his client is not a fanatic but he joined the Taliban because where in America can you find 72 virgins? In Little Rock, Arkansas, today the groundbreaking for The Clinton Presidential Library was held. This place is going to be something else, I guess – I hear Clinton is staining the wood himself. The Detroit Lions are 0 and 11, soon to be 0 and 12 after this weekend. The good thing is that they're not peaking before the playoffs. Vice President Dick Cheney now considers the Detroit Lions' end zone a secure and undisclosed location. The government is telling everyone to be on high alert and to report anything unusual. Hey, that's not so easy here in L.A.! The government also said today that they will fund millions to close down terrorist organizations. Yes! The IRS is finished! Have you seen the new Gyroscope Scooter? This thing is supposed to revolutionize the transportation industry. Hey, if you want to revolutionize transportation, how about a third X-ray machine at the airports for starters? This scooter weighs 60 pounds and can go about 12 miles per hour, so it's a Geo Metro, basically. U.S. troops have captured an American man who was fighting for the Taliban. Have you heard about this? The man was from the United States and went to Afghanistan to fight for the Taliban. His mom says he was born in D.C. and his father is a lawyer – well, gee, no wonder! He already had terrorism in his genes! Now that he's been captured he says he just wants to go back to his old job – which was airline security. John Ashcroft is taking a lot of heat for these new strict laws of finding suspicious people. I think perhaps he has taken it a little too far, like today he locked up all the members from the band Foreigner. President Bush runs three miles a day. He stays in shape. But that's not so big - Osama bin Laden runs about 50 miles a day! Homeland Security Secretary Tom Ridge is telling Americans to report anything suspicious right now – like the Detroit Lions scoring a touchdown. Do you know why it's so easy to clone Hillary Clinton? Because the eggs are already frozen! John Walker, the American that was fighting for the Taliban, has been captured. His mother was on the news last night saying that he shouldn't be punished because he has been brainwashed. Have you seen this guy? I don't think anything has been washed! He looks like Charles Manson with a bad hangover. Geraldo, as you know, is in Afghanistan covering the war. He has said that given the chance he would shoot Osama himself. Today Osama bin Laden said, "Hey, if I run into Geraldo, I will shoot my own self!" Today in Arkansas Bill Clinton broke ground for his presidential Library. He picked an appropriate day to do it – Wednesday, hump day! More details are out on this Johnny Walker kid, the American who fought for the Taliban. Even the Afghan people say he was eccentric. That's when you know you're nuts, when people that live in caves tell you so. In fact, he was so crazy that the terrorism school he went to said he was on a full scholarship. Good news for Michael Jordan – his MRI came back and his right knee is OK. The bad news is that he has to go back to playing for the Wizards. You know the difference between U2 and the Detroit Lions? U2 will actually be playing at the Super Bowl! _________________________________ Letterman Please do not applaud! It could circulate the anthrax spores! Maybe we shouldn't be joking about this. People are worried and scared silly about this anthrax. Like last night I was paying my date – and she was afraid to open the envelope. We keep learning more about this Osama bin Laden. Turns out he has a sidekick – Mini Laden. It's the holidays! The Harry Potter movie is the big thing right now. It's already made like $250 billion in business. New York City has Harry Potter fever. Like today I was walking through the park and I saw a squirrel cast a spell on its nuts. Afghanistan is upside down. The people in Kabul are now looking to get into the television business after being set free. What a coincidence – so is CBS! Experts are now saying that Osama bin Laden will probably make it through the winter. How is he going to be able to do this? Well, they think he'll survive by eating the food in his beard. ________________________________ Conan The NFL says that the Super Bowl might be held in New York this year. Mayor Giuliani hopes that New York does get the Super Bowl so he can help get New York ticket scalpers back on their feet.

To: Boplicity who wrote (5032)	12/10/2001 9:11:42 PM
From: stockman_scott	Respond to of 13815

Is the fiber glut for real? ebnonline.com

To: Boplicity who wrote (5032)	12/11/2001 8:19:14 AM
From: Sig	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 13815

Bo, this trading game is "something else" I haven't been able to make a move for three whole days, with bears all over the place . - could not see much worth while except a few shares of Gnss and Geacf. Watching some Beas calls disintegrate. Now out of the blue Ally says they beat will the street by about 25% and growth will be ~100% instead of expected 57.7%. Bless Mr Topfer, who became a director and bgt in at about $6 sh before the split. He has the experience at Mot and Dell (if they at Ally will listen) to show what can be done with a technology driven company. I plan to hold if possible, until the second split. Techs should get a boost today from Nokia, and the futures are up. If you're money ahead in this game its time to celebrate, as my lawyer friend says and does. Lots of boring days for a Dell share holder, followed by a few hours of excitement. Celebrating to me is to finish my garage - its 30 by 54 but also gets a bath and bedroom so its like building another house - bought $1400 of material at HD which doesn't include the doors. During this recession, I stood in the parking lot of Walmart Monday morning while Jan was buying cat food.Counted 20 rows of cars over 30 cars long - lot was full. From there I could see a Denneys, an Ihop, a barbeque place, a fancy Montana rest, A Mcdonalds, a Sears mini store, a Home Depot, a gas station,. and much more. A few years back, only the McDonalds was there . IMO stores are going to run out of toys because they did not order enough. Local medical groups and firemen are buying Teddy bears and canned food to give away. So maybe thats just local, I dont get around much outside of Texas......... So you sold the store and I cant buy any more CD's? Good luck on your new career Sig. Do you know WMT has split 9 times. Zowee. . .