To: Thomas A Watson who wrote (211715 ) 12/20/2001 1:59:10 PM From: Dr. Doktor Read Replies (1) | Respond to of 769670 Merry Christmas Thought you'd get a kick out of this!!> 'Twas the Night Before Ramadan' > by Mullah Mohammed Omar > > > T'was the night before Ramadan, and all through the cave > Not a creature was stirring; it felt like a grave. > > The turbans were hung by the firepit with care, > In hopes that the Air Force would not soon be there. > > The soldiers were restless without any beds, > While visions of air strikes flashed in their heads. > > Osama in his burkha and I in my cap, > Had just settled down for a cold winter's nap, > > When out on the ledge there arose such a clatter, > I grabbed my Kalashnikov to see what was the matter. > > Away from the racket I ran like a girl, > Tripped over a goat; into a ball I did curl. > > The moon shone down on the new-fallen snow > And lit up the valley with an ominous glow, > > When, what to my one good eye should appear, > But a dozen Apaches, and tanks in the rear, > > And their leader, so fearless, his troops he did push, > I knew in an instant it must be George Bush. > > More rapid than eagles his forces they came, > They whistled, and shouted, and called out our names; > > Now Omar! Osama! Muhammad! Abdul! > We come for you now; we've taken Kabul! > > To the top of the cliffs! To the back of your caves! > When you chose this war, you dug your own graves!" > > So up to the ledge his forces they flew > With full magazines, and flamethrowers too. > > And then, in a twinkling, I heard with a thud > The explosions of Tomahawks; not one was a dud. > > As I chambered my rifle, and was turning around, > Osama was there, disguised in a gown. > > He was dressed all in drag, from his head to his toes, > And he said he would flee while I held off his foes; > > A bundle of money he had stuffed in his pack, > He said "I'm going to Baghdad and I'm not looking back!" > > His eyes were all glassy; he trembled with fear; > The American bombs, they rang in his ears. > > He saddled his goat, then turned tail and fled, > But a Marine Corps sniper got him in the head. > > I watched with cold fear as his body did slump; > The goat threw him off; he fell with a thump. > > And so, there I stood, my plans all destroyed, > About to suffer a fate I could not avoid; > > I dropped to my knees; asked Allah for help, > His voice boomed in my ears, "You ignorant whelp! > > I gave you the Bible, the Torah and Koran, > But you were too arrogant to understand, > > I told you to honor your neighbors and wives; > Not to enslave them, or degrade their lives! > > You invoke My name to sanction your deeds, > But you are the last thing that this world needs. > > And so, I'll send you and bin Laden to Hell." > The last words I heard, as the bombs fell, > > Were from George Bush himself as he mounted the wall, > "One nation, under God, with liberty and justice for all!"