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Pastimes : all Bear Clowns Will be destroyed -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: GROUND ZERO™ who wrote (413)	12/25/2001 1:39:19 PM
From: bobby beara	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 701

Happy Holiday's GZ. Fruitcake Recipe (Just in time for the Christmas preparations!) 1 cup water 1 cup sugar 4 large eggs 2 cups dried fruit 1 teaspoon baking soda 1 teaspoon salt 1 cup brown sugar lemon juice nuts 1 gallon whiskey Sample the whiskey to check for the quality. Take a large bowl. Check the whiskey again to be sure it is of the highest quality. Pour one level cup and drink. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer; beat 1 cup butter in a large, fluffy bowl. Add 1 teaspoon sugar and beat again. Make sure the whiskey is still OK. Cry another tup. Turn off mixer. Break 2 legs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriber. Sample the whiskey to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift 2 cups of salt. Or something. Who cares? Check the whiskey. Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar or something. Whatever you can find. Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 gedress. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Throw the bowl out the window. Check the whiskey again. Go to bed. Who the hell likes fruitcake anyway? ________________________________ and best of luck and happy holidays to the armed forces Subject: Resistance is Futile A large group of Taliban soldiers are moving down a road when they hear a voice call from behind a sand-dune. "One U. S. Army Special Forces soldier is better than ten Taliban." The Taliban commander quickly sends 10 of his best soldiers over the dune, whereupon a gun battle breaks out and continues for a few minutes....then silence. The voice then calls out "One U. S. Army Special Forces soldier is better than fifty Taliban." Furious, the Taliban commander sends his next best 50 troops over the dune and instantly a huge gunfight commences. After 10 minutes of battle, again silence. The American voice calls out again "One U. S. Special Forces soldier is better than one hundred Taliban." The enraged Taliban Commander musters one hundred of his best fighters and sends then across the dune. Gunfire, grenades, machine gun fire, rockets,etc ring out as a huge battle is fought. Then silence! Eventually one wounded Taliban fighter crawls back over the dune and with his dying words tells his Taliban Commander, "Don't send any more men -- it's a trap. There's two of them!"