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To: Mannie who wrote (8716)1/10/2002 2:18:51 PM
From: T L Comiskey  Read Replies (1) | Respond to of 104160
 
Ahi chee wawa..........

A great dane, a scotty, and a chihuahua were sitting in a bar, knocking
back a few, when a beautiful bitch walked in.

"Okay, boys," she purred. "I'll make a very happy dog out of whoever
can come up with the best proposition, using the words 'cheese' and
'liver'."

The great dane thought a moment, then stated: "I don't like cheese, but
I sure like liver, and I like you, too!" He panted and wagged his tail.

The lady just looked away.

The scotty immediately said "I like cheese, and I like liver, AND I like
you!" and wagged his tail expectantly.

She ignored him.

Then the chihuahua growled "Liver alone! Cheese with me."

They left together.
t



To: Mannie who wrote (8716)1/11/2002 12:22:57 AM
From: piscatologist  Read Replies (1) | Respond to of 104160
 
A couple went golfing one day at a very exclusive course lined with
million dollar homes. On the third tee, the husband cautioned, "Honey,
be careful when you drive. If we break a window on any of those
gorgeous homes, it'll cost us a fortune to repair!" Of course, the wife
promptly hacked her first shot right through the window of the biggest
house adjacent to the course. The husband cringed, "I warned you to be
careful! Now we'll have to go up there, find the owner, apologize and
see how much your lousy drive is going to cost us." So the couple
walked up to the house and knocked on the door. A warm voice said,
"come on in." When they opened the door they saw the damage that
was done: glass was all over the place, and a broken antique bottle was
lying on its side near the broken window. A man reclining on the couch
asked, "Are you the people that broke my window?" "Uh...yeah, sir.
We're sure sorry about that," the husband replied. "Oh, no apology is
necessary. Actually I want to thank you. You see, I'm a genie, and I've
been trapped in that bottle for a thousand years. Now that you've
released me, I'm allowed to grant three wishes. I'll give you each one
wish, but if you don't mind, I'll keep the last one for myself." "Wow,
that's great!" the husband said. He pondered a moment and blurted out,
"I'd like a million dollars a year for the rest of my life." "No problem,"
said the genie. "You've got it, it's the least I can do. And I'll guarantee
you a long, healthy life!" "And now you, young lady, what do you want?"
the genie asked. "I'd like to own a gorgeous home complete with
servants in every country in the world," she said. "Consider it done," the
genie said. "And your homes will always be safe from fire, burglary and
natural disasters!" "And now," the couple asked in unison, "what's your
wish, genie?" "Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle and haven't
been with a woman in more than a thousand years, my wish is to have
sex with your wife." The husband looked at his wife and said, "Gee,
honey, you know we both now have a fortune, and all those houses.
What do you think?" She mulled it over for a few moments and said,
"You know, you're right. Considering our good fortune, I guess I
wouldn't mind." "But what about you, honey?" "You know I love you
sweetheart," said the husband. "I'd do the same for you!" So the genie
and the woman went upstairs where they spent the rest of the afternoon
enjoying each other. The genie was insatiable. After about three hours of
nonstop sex, the genie rolled over, lit a cigarette, and looked directly into
the wife's eyes. "How old are you and your husband?" "Why, we're both
35," she responded breathlessly. "No kidding! Thirty-five years old and
both of you still believe in genies?"