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To: elpolvo who wrote (46680)1/18/2002 11:13:09 PM
From: stockman_scott  Respond to of 65232
 
LIGHT HUMOUR...

Kmart Hires Arthur Andersen

Ailing retail giant Kmart today announced it would not have to declare bankruptcy after an audit conducted by its newly hired accounting firm, Arthur Andersen, found no records of ANY company finances whatsoever.

"Our previous accounting firm told us we lost $224 million in the fiscal third quarter, but Andersen has informed us that, at least on paper, we didn't EVEN HAVE a fiscal third quarter," said CEO Charles Conaway. "What a difference proper accounting makes." Andersen executives did not return several messages.