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Politics : PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: willcousa who wrote (225609)	2/6/2002 10:00:12 AM
From: gao seng	Respond to of 769670

Probably this female terrorist, you know how he likes them dumb. Elderly Israeli wishes first female suicide bomber had just shtupped him to death JAFFA — As Shmul Richler lay dying, the sole fatality of the first female suicide bomber's attack on a Jaffa marketplace, the 81-year-old Israeli man wondered aloud to paramedics why his murderer had used a bomb to kill him. "I don't understand," he gasped. "I have a very weak heart. She could easily have just shtupped me to death. Heck, even a blow job might have been enough to do me in." At the inquest, Mr. Richler's physician sadly agreed. "Traditionally, Jewish women, especially those of a certain age, are loath to perform fellatio," stated Dr. Shecky Hinkel. "And having repeatedly met Mrs. Richler, I can assure you that she held true to form. Oy, what a piece of work." "Certainly, had Wafa' Idrees [the suicide bomber] lured Mr. Richler into a motel room, forced him down onto the bed, then straddled him for Allah, she would have killed him," continued Dr. Hinkel. "There is no way an 81-year-old heart could have withstood a full-bosomed martyr yelling Jihad while grinding hard on his shmeckel." "It just doesn't make sense," mourned longtime friend Morty Melman. "If she had fucked him to death, then she could have gone on to kill and kill again, a rapacious, raven-tressed assassin bringing her own brand of exquisite death to unsuspecting elderly Jewish men like myself. Oh, the terror I would be experiencing then!" "Not only that," continued Melman, "as I understand it, the reward of martyrdom is 72 doe-eyed virgin women. Now, if this girl wants martyrdom bad enough to kill herself, then you've got to expect that she at least swings both ways. Mein Gott! Bisexual mujahideen? The thought is too terrible to contemplate! Perhaps she even could have worked in tandem with another ruby-lipped temptress? What hope could Israel's elderly have when faced with such a threat?" Despite the obvious effectiveness of such unusual assaults, Counter-terrorism experts don't foresee an increase in fatal sexual escapades between young Palestinian women and old Jews. nationallampoon.com