Silicon Investor (SI) -- The First Internet Community

STOCKTALK

We've detected that you're using an ad content blocking browser plug-in or feature. Ads provide a critical source of revenue to the continued operation of Silicon Investor. We ask that you disable ad blocking while on Silicon Investor in the best interests of our community. If you are not using an ad blocker but are still receiving this message, make sure your browser's tracking protection is set to the 'standard' level.

Politics : Right Wing Extremist Thread -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: jlallen who wrote (24431)	3/4/2002 11:17:19 AM
From: Nite-Man	Respond to of 59480

WHAT YOU CAN LEARN FROM COWS > > DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for > being successful. You vote people into office who put a tax on your cows, > forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the > tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money, buy a cow and give > it > to your neighbor. You feel righteous. Barbara Streisand sings for you. > > SOCIALIST: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to > your neighbor. You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow. > > REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So? > > CHRISTIAN DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your > neighbor. Then you covet it. > > COMMUNIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you > with milk. You wait in line for hours to get it. It is expensive and sour. > > CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, > and build a herd of cows. > > DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government taxes you to > the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who > has > only one cow, which was a gift from your government. > > BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. > The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for > the milk, then pours the milk down the drain. > > AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, lease it back to > yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one. You force the 2 cows to produce the > milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an > announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing > expenses. Your stock goes up. > > FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want > three cows. You go to lunch. Life is good. > > JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are > one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the > milk.They > learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains. Most are at the top of > their > class at cow school. > > GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You re engineer them so they are > all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a > hundred > miles an hour. Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per > year. > > ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows but you don't know where they are. > While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman. > You break for lunch. > Life is good. > > RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count > them and learn you have five cows. You have some more vodka. You count > them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you > have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka. You > produce your 10th, 5-year plan > in the last 3 months. The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows > you > really have. > > TALIBAN CORPORATION: You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which is > two.You > don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts. At > night when no one is looking, you have sex with both of them. Then you > kill > them and claim a US bomb blew them up while they were in the hospital. > > SWISS CORPORATION: > You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. > You charge for storing them for others. > > BRAZILIAN CORPORATION: > You have two cows. You enter into a partnership with an American > corporation. Soon you have 1000 cows and the American corporation > declares bankruptcy. > > INDIAN CORPORATION: > You have two cows. You worship them. > > POLISH CORPORATION: You have two bulls. Employees are regularly maimed and > killed attempting to milk them. > > FLORIDA CORPORATION: You have a black cow and a brown cow. Everyone votes > for the best looking one. Some of the people who like the brown one best > vote for the black one. Some people vote for both. Some people vote for > neither. Some people can't figure out how to vote at all. Finally, a bunch > of guys from out-of-state tell you which is the best looking one. > > NEW YORK CORPORATION: You have fifteen million cows. You have to choose > which one will be the leader of the herd and represent you in the Senate, > so you elect some fat cow from Arkansas who wandered into the State. NM