To: TimF who wrote (3433 ) 3/18/2002 8:17:13 PM From: TimF Respond to of 21057 >These useful quotes are from "actual" U.S. government employee performance >evaluations: > >1. Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has >started to dig. >2. I would not allow this employee to breed. >3. This employee is really not so much of a has-been but more of a definite won't-be. >4. Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap. >5. When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet. >6. He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle. >7. This young lady has delusions of adequacy. >8. He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them. >9. This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot. >10. This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better. >11. Got a full six-pack but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together. >12. A gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus. >13. He does not have ulcers, but he is a carrier. >14. I would like to go hunting with him sometime. >15. He has been working with glue too much. >16. He would argue with a signpost. >17. He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room. >18. When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell. >19. If you see two people talking, and one looks bored, he is the other one. >20. A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on. >21. A prime candidate for natural de-selection. >22. Donated his brain to science before he was done using it. >23. Gates are down, the lights are flashing but the train is not coming. >24. Has two brains: one is lost and the other is out looking for it. >25. If he were any more stupid, he would have to be watered twice a week. >26. If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you would get change. >27. If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean. >28. It is hard to believe that he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm. >29. One neuron short of a synapse. >30. Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled. >31. Takes him two hours to watch 60 Minutes. >32. The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.