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Pastimes : THE SLIGHTLY MODERATED BOXING RING -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: thames_sider who wrote (3587)	3/22/2002 12:20:00 PM
From: Wharf Rat	Read Replies (4) \| Respond to of 21057

> > > Osama bin Ladin was making his way to the Pearly Gates after > being nailed by an American "daisy cutter" bomb in Afghanistan. > > Before getting there, he was surprised to be stopped by George > Washington, who said, "How dare you attack the nation I helped > conceive!" George Washington slaps Osama across the face with > a glove. > > Patrick Henry comes from behind Washington. "You wanted to > end American liberty, so they gave you death!" He bops Osama > in the nose. > > Little James Madison appears next. "This is why I had the > Federal government provide for the common defense!" He > reaches up and punches Osama in the solar plexus. > > James Monroe steps up. "You ignored my warning, Osama, and > intervened in the Western Hemisphere." He raps his walking > stick down smartly on Osama's big toe. > > Osama is hopping around on one foot and holding his midriff > when Thomas Jefferson comes forward. "It should have been > self-evident to you, Osama, that all people are entitled to > life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness." Jefferson steps > back to show him the rest of the receiving line. > > Osama peeks behind Jefferson and sees a long row of American > patriots and lovers of freedom: John Randolph of Roanoke, > George Mason, Henry Clay, John Tyler, Zachary Taylor, > John Marshall, William Henry Harrison, and dozens more -- > ready to express their indignation at his attacks on America. > > Osama screams to the Heavens, "HE-E-ELP!!! These insults are > not what I was promised! I fulfilled my obligations!" > > With a brilliant flash, the spirit of the Prophet Mohammed > appears overhead and speaks in a booming voice. "You fool, > I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you. > What did you think I said?" > Rat