I have heard religious jokes that I did not think were offensive. So what?:
A priest, a minister, and a rabbi were having a picnic on a boat on a lake, but they left their basket on the shore. The priest decided he needed some salt, stepped out of the boat onto the water, and proceeded to walk across the water and back with the salt. The rabbi blinked, but said nothing. After awhile, the minister decided he needed a sharper knife to cut his pickle, stepped out of the boat, walked on the water to the basket, and walked on the water back to the boat with the knife. By this time the rabbi was seriously alarmed, and decided he could not shame his people by being shown up, so he said:"You know, I could really go for some horseradish, but I left it in the basket". Then he stepped outside of the boat and sank like a stone. As the priest and minister reached out to help him, the priest turned to the minister and said," Do y'think we shoulda told him about the large bridge of rocks under the surface?"
Here's another:
The Pope was thinking about expelling the Jews of Rome, but decided, to be fair, to have a debate with their wisest rabbi. If he won, they would go; if they won, they would stay. But they did not speak the same language, so the debate had to carried out in sign language. First, the Pope pointed to the horizon. The old rabbit emphatically pointed to the ground. The Pope started sweating, but then held out an egg. The rabbi promptly pulled out a matzah. By this time, the Pope was shaking. Then he raised one finger, but the rabbi held out three fingers with courage and determination. Finally, the Pope said,"Whatta can I say, he won, they can stay." Back at the Vatican, the cardinals asked what had happened, so the Pope explained:"First, I said the sun, she's the center of the universe, but he said no, the Earth is. Well, what coulda I say? Then I said the Earth, she is a- round, but he said no, she is a flat, which, according to our cartographers, is true. Then I said One God, but he said No, Three Persons in One God. Well, after that, of course I had to concede." Back in the ghetto, everyone gathered around the rabbi to find out what had happened. He said:"Vell, first he said 'You are going', so I said 'No, we stay here'. Then he whipped out his lunch, so I whipped out my lunch too. Finally, he said 'This to you', so I said 'This to you Three Times!'" |