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Pastimes : Don't Ask Rambi -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: maried. who wrote (62732)	5/23/2002 8:40:11 PM
From: epicure	Respond to of 71178

I have thought about that. I would do exactly what I am doing now. Might push myself to be nice ALL the time to my kids (so they would remember their perfect mother even more fondly), which might drive me mentally insane, but other than that, I would change nothing. I love my life the way it is.

To: maried. who wrote (62732)	5/23/2002 9:16:53 PM
From: Lane3	Respond to of 71178

It would probably take me the entire last year of my life to make sure I didn't leave any messes for others to have to clean up. Karen

To: maried. who wrote (62732)	5/24/2002 10:21:27 AM
From: Rambi	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 71178

I would make Dan take the year off from work so we could spend time our time together and we would go to the ocean a lot, and see the boys a lot ,and I would try to stop worrying that the house is falling apart. In fact, I think I will sell the house and everything in it but my piano and my cat. I have no illusions about leaving much to the world. Long ago on Feelings, when people were getting all incensed about big huge things, and changing things, and fighting for issues, I wrote that my only contribution would have to be my children who are good, ethical (despite their being agnostics)caring people, responsible for themselves, and my ongoing effort to not cause hurt or pain in my everyday actions. I think a lot of harm is done in the name of overenthusiastic, opinionated good. Last night Ammo and I were talking about dreams and he said he felt bad because he had no save the world goal, as a couple of his friends do (although they seemed to be very nebulous goals when I asked). He said he just wanted to make people smile and forget for a couple of hours with his plays or his music. I said that was as noble as any goal and not to get caught up other people's rhetoric and often impossible dreams. That for most of us the biggest difference we can make is with everyday kindness. I would write more too- more stories for my grandchildren to come, I guess. I believe in family mythologies.

To: maried. who wrote (62732)	5/24/2002 2:03:49 PM
From: MulhollandDrive	Read Replies (3) \| Respond to of 71178

"forgive me for asking a very serious question"... ok maried....i do...<g> and i've given this question a lot of thought...and i've just decided even with the 10 million dollar lottery, all i need is a bike.....and a pair of good shoes. and... because I don't need any of this.... I don't need this stuff, and I don't need you. I don't need anything except this and that's it and that's the only thing I need, is this. I don't need this or this. Just this ashtray. And this paddle game, the ashtray and the paddle game and that's all I need. And this remote control. The ashtray, the paddle game and the remote control, and that's all I need. And these matches. The ashtray, and these matches, and the remote control and the paddle ball. And this lamp. The ashtray, this paddle game and the remote control and the lamp and that's all I need. And that's all I need too. I don't need one other thing, not one - I need this! The paddle game, and the chair, and the remote control, and the matches, for sure. Well what are you looking at? What do you think I am, some kind of a jerk or something? And this! And that's all I need. The ashtray, the remote control, the paddle game, this magazine and the chair, a bike and good shoes.. :)

To: maried. who wrote (62732)	5/26/2002 2:08:22 AM
From: Jacques Chitte	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 71178

That is a tough one. The more I think about it, the tougher it becomes. The rub for me is that "not suffering from an infirmity" would constitute cheating on my part. So I couldn't bring the sort of vigor and resilience to bear on the situation as I would like ... so that nixes any ideas of exotic travel, extreme sports or wild spending sprees. I like Rambi's answer in principle, but as my offspring are 2 and 4 I would only be able to do woefully little in the allotted year. I would die not knowing the answer to the Great Question: Are my children people of honor? (To those who are pondering the Obvious Question, I can only reply: while I fully trust that Spouse would see to the proper discharge of that question, it's conceivable that she would die after me but too soon before the kids' majority. Having children means to embrace risk.) I would also agree with the post about leaving a minimum of messes behind. I'd see to it that my family would inherit no avoidable debts, liabilities or other white elephants upon my death. Perhaps the only deliberate change of behavior I would pursue touches upon my Home Depot vignette. I would say "to hell!" with grocery-store etiquette (and simultaneously grab my enormous social insecurity by the horns) and start a random conversation with any checkout-line fellow inmate who had any spark of ... uh, "spirit" for lack of a better word, in her face. The current Grave Threat of carrying an embarrassing moment to my grave (sic!) in silent shame would be defused by knowing that the silent shame will be expunged in less'n one year. ...No sense telling him about the bats though. He'll see them soon enough, the poor bastard.* * For those who think they recognize the passage, it's as close as I can remember to a fragment of the opening diatribe in Hunter S. Thompson's gonzo opus, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.