To: epicure who wrote (48856 ) 6/1/2002 9:44:17 PM From: E Read Replies (2) | Respond to of 82486 I'm glad to hear that the sexual tension/passionate kiss satire was about you and CH and not about CH and Poet, who is the one most of CH's "sexual tension" has been manifest toward, so you can see my confusion when he wrote "Gosh, and to think that people who appear to the world to hate each other actually might..... The mind boggles at the implications." It actually makes you less mean in my eyes, though it isn't any less remarkable to me, you posting that, thinking of you and CH, presumably referring to your friendship or lack of it as the case may be. I suspect, now that you remind me that you have said a number of times that you aren't a 'friend' of CH's, and it has been reported by someone else that in fact you have made clear 'can't stand' him, that that was what was foremost on his mind, too -- not his many sexual allusions and the suggestiveness regarding Poet, but your iterated and reiterated non-liking of him. (You can see that his having even so recently expressed his belief that e'en as he was harassing her, he was believing their warm friendship could be recaptured some day, might momentarily throw me off. But I'm back on target. It's about you and CH, definitely.) I shall take this opportunity to share a theory I have that might explain why you felt it right to encourage and ally with (verb-caution! -- ally with, but not liking!) the person who was re-traumatizing a friend of yours whom you (and CH himself) knew to suffer from PTSD. What I figure is that you took a course or did some reading and it got into your brain that when someone was 'shunned,' that was a bad thing, no matter that he was adamantly insisting on continuing the behavior that horrified his former friends so that they finally withdrew from him! And so when you saw CH being shunned, your impulse was to, no matter what, run to his side. This is the odd part: The book or article (or original thought stream) that produced the notion of you as ally-to-the-oppressor (oh, wait, that's Stockholm, and interesting but let's not go there), I mean as ally-to-the-shunned, surely intended that the beneficial process, to the shunned party, would be a hand-of-friendship sort of thing! Surely it didn't go like this: "When allying with the bully or other isolated person, give positive reinforcement and emotional support with numerous warm exchanges, showing the poor sufferer, and his former friends, that he is not alone -- BUT: ever so often, interrupt the warm flow by splashing on him a bucket of ice water! -- announce to all witnesses how much you really don't like him, either; that he's no friend of yours any more than he is of anyone else's; and that you're there at his side solely because of some internal self-definition satisfaction you get out of it, you personally; you're there because of something too hard to explain, but it makes you feel swell about yourself, so there you are, not liking him, but warm, warm. Mostly." Surely the part about interrupting the warmth with icy splashes is your own invention. What it looks like is a kind of emotional prickteasing of a needy, sick person: I'myourfriendi'myourfriendi'myourfriendi'myourfriendI'M NOT HIS FRIEND I DON'T EVEN LIKE HIMi'm your friend.... BTW, Poet has asked that CH be unbanned by Laz on SMBR. She wants it over. Laz will post about it soon.