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Politics : Sharks in the Septic Tank -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Poet who wrote (50055)	6/10/2002 1:50:31 PM
From: jlallen	Respond to of 82486

Helloooooooo! Thought you'd have better sense than to ever stick your nose back into this dungpile....<g> JLA

To: Poet who wrote (50055)	6/10/2002 2:44:48 PM
From: epicure	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 82486

"I''ve had a lot of time to think about this, to see my own weaknesses and mistakes in this situation. I tend to trust too much and have often trusted the wrong people. In this way, I have perpetuated my own re-traumatization. I know that many people tend to scoff at PTSD, or to think that it's more noble to have gotten it through wartime service than through service to an abusive parent, but that's not true. It's a chronic and debilitating problem, one which I've spoken out about on the internet, particularly after September 11th. Everything I do, from spending most of my time in quiet rooms, to regular exercise, to maintaining a strict sleep schedule, is designed to help me manage the symptoms on my own. And yet when a general event (like 9-11) happens, or someone acts toward me in ways my abuser did (and it's classic abusive behavior to insinuate that the victim, even a child, was seductive and 'wanted it'), I fall into that dark space again.The nightmares return, the shaking hands, the jumpiness, the incessant diarrhea, the gagging and the awful fear. I don't want to live this way. Life is too precious and I have so much poetry to write, having started so late in life." Your words, above I think of that as very fragile- if that isn't fragile, I don't know what is. You have your definition of yourself, I have mine.