To: The Philosopher who wrote (50536 ) 6/12/2002 12:38:28 PM From: Lane3 Read Replies (2) | Respond to of 82486 I have been sitting here this morning, now verging on afternoon, with four SI windows open, pondering this apology--and munching on a chocolate bar, which is not a good thing. Neither is this apology. I was talking yesterday about explanations vs. charges vs. apologies so I pondered the apology some more from that perspective. An apology typically has a couple of elements. It accepts blame and it corrects or provides restitution or satisfaction wherever possible. I'm pretty easy about such things. If I'm the victim, I will typically be satisfied with an explanation without even a gesture of apology. E clearly is not satisfied with what appears to me to be somewhere between an explanation and an apology. IMO, your comment was such that satisfaction for the insult is owed if she wants it, which she clearly does. I'm prepared to accept that "'a reach' and 'overstatement' are adequately synonymous." But "overstatement" doesn't capture the full sense of my comment. What was "a reach" was the suggestion that E would search out and drool over the nastiest porn. This is in marked contrast with how she described her experience. You are calling her either a perv or a liar. She considers that an insult and I concur. One can be aware of the existence of the kinds of porn she described without ever actually seeing it. One has only to read articles about the hazards of porn to be able to characterize what subjects are portrayed, yet your explanation/apology continues to suggest that she searched the stuff out. The insult, while not as strong, still stands. I don't think one really apologizes if one perpetuates rather than squelching the insult.