Preparing for a garage sale at our house, my wife and I decided to put out a mirror we'd received as a wedding gift. Because of its garish aqua colored metal frame we just couldn't find a room in our house where it looked good. Shortly after the garage sale started, a man looking to decorate his apartment bought it for one dollar. "This is a great deal," he said excitedly." It still has the plastic on it." Then he peeled off the aqua colored protective covering to reveal a beautiful gold finished frame.
I have a friend who got those new saline breast implants. She lay in the sun so long they evaporated. All she has now is two double-D salt shakers.
Ten reasons why I need Big Boobs:
~ My husband has big hands.
~ It's been 30 years; it's time to get out of a training bra.
~ More than a mouthful isn't a waste.
~ They make a Carvel cake that has bigger breasts than mine.
~ The mammogram technician said, “Come back when your breasts are big enough to examine.”
~ I want to shop for bras at Victoria Secret NOT in the Junior
section of JC Penny's.
~ I want to trade in my Kiwis for Cantaloupes.
~ POWER - I need the power!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
~ So during sex I can keep my husband busy while I do my nails.
~ TUBE TOP - Need I say more.
A man left work on Friday afternoon, but instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend hunting with the boys and spending his entire paycheck. When he finally appeared at home Sunday night, he was confronted by his very angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade of his actions. Finally, his wife stopped the nagging and said to him. "How would you like it if you didn't see me for two or three days?" To which he replied, "That would be fine with me." Monday went by and he didn't see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results. Thursday, the swelling went down just enough where he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.
The Main Library at Indiana University sinks over an inch every year because when it was built, engineers failed to take into account the weight of all the books that would occupy the building.
A snail can sleep for three years.
a year older 6/08...
1625 Giovanni Cassini, discoverer, four of Saturn's moons
1869 Frank Lloyd Wright, American architect
1916 Professor Sir Francis Crick, British biologist discovered the structure of DNA (and JD Watson)
1944 Boz Scaggs, rock singer
old news 6/08...
452 Italy was invaded by Attila the Hun.
June 8, 632 Prophet Mohammed died in Mecca
1867 Mark Twain embarks on the journey through Europe to the Holy Land that inspired The Innocents Abroad.
bday 6/09...
1781 George Stephenson, English engineer known for pioneering steam locomotion
1961 Michael J Fox, Canadian actor who gained fame in the TV show Family Ties and Back to the Future films...
day in history...
68 AD Emperor Nero of Rome stabbed himself to death.
1934 Donald Duck made his debut in The Wise Little Hen, a Disney cartoon.
1970 Bob Dylan received an honorary degree from Princeton University
happy birhtday 6/10...
1841 Sir Henry Morton Stanley, Welsh-born African explorer who found Dr David Livingstone in 1871...Dr Livingstone, I presume?
1922 Judy Garland, Hollywood actress and singer, The Wizard of Oz
events...
1190 Holy Roman Emperor Frederick I, leader of the Third Crusade, drowned in a river en route to the Holy Land.
1692 Bridget Bishop was the first person hanged for witchcraft, Salem Witch Trials.
1943 Laszlo Biro patented the ballpoint pen.
yur birthday 6/11...
1910 Jacques Cousteau, French underwater adventurer and filmmaker
1933 Gene Wilder, born Jerome Silberman, American comic actor
history on 6/11..
1184 BC The Greeks took Troy...sounds like a hockey game eh
1963 Governor George Wallace tried to prevent desegregation by blocking the entrance of two black students to the University of Alabama
1966 Janis Joplin made her first appearance on stage, at the Avalon ballroom in San Francisco
6/12 births...
1916 Irwin Allen, died Nov 2,1991, American TV/movie producer, movie Director. The Master of Disaster... Earthquake; Poseidon Adventure; Towering Inferno; Airport; The Swarm; Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea; Lost in Space; Time Tunnel; Land of the Giants; Alice in Wonderland
1941 Chick Corea, progressive jazz musician
happenings 6/12...
1365 King Edward III banned football in London, and ordered archery practice.
1839 Baseball was played for the first time, at Cooperstown, New York, the invention of Abner Doubleday.
1906 Sound movies were patented by John Ballance US No 823,022.
1923 Harry Houdini freed himself from a straitjacket while suspended upside down, 40 feet above New York City.
1991 Russia held its first ever democratic elections; in a referendum, the people of Leningrad voted to change the name of their city back to St Petersburg.
born today 6/13...
1892 Basil Rathbone, South African-born English actor, well-known for his portrayal of Sherlock Holmes
on this day 6/13...
323 BC While returning to Macedonia from India, Alexander the Great died of a fever and fatigue at the age of only 33.
1920 US Post Office Department ruled that children may not be sent by parcel post. rolling on the floor
1958 Frank Zappa graduated from high school, possibly the last straight thing he ever did. In 1990 a high school was named after him.
1989 Mikhail Gorbachev and Chancellor Helmut Kohl agreed on the reunification of Germany.
1994 The ex-wife of OJ Simpson, and her friend, Ron Goldman, were found stabbed to death outside her condominium in the Brentwood section of Los Angeles.
birthday suits 6/14...
1811 Harriet Beecher Stowe, American novelist, Uncle Tom's Cabin.
1961 Boy George, English gender bender pop singer (imagine boy george in his bdsy suit eueech) lol
on 6/14...
1789 Captain William Bligh and 18 loyal crewmen arrived at the island of Timor after drifting 5,600 km after the mutiny on Bligh's ship Bounty, when they were put to sea in a small boat.
1968 Jimi Hendrix recorded Have You Ever Been to Electric Ladyland?
1982 Argentina surrendered to Britain on the Falkland Islands, ending a bloody 74-day conflict
2000 In the biggest step toward peace since the end of the Korean War, the leaders of North and South Korea signed an agreement pledging to work for reconciliation and eventual reunification.
have a dry weekend (raining here we need it) ~
good fortune...
pops
compiled and edited Copyright Stock Den Digest© 2002 |
