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Pastimes : Don't Ask Rambi -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Constant Reader who wrote (62894)	6/16/2002 5:00:29 PM
From: Lazarus_Long	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 71178

***FLASH! *** RAMBI AND ELVIS REPORTEDLY BEING HELD HOSTAGE BY LAST REMAINING AL QAEDA SOLDIER IN AN AFGHAN YURT. MORE NEWS AS IT BECOMES AVAILABLE. NOTE: The truth of the rumors that SMBR is a hidden asset of DAR, Inc. is still hidden.

To: Constant Reader who wrote (62894)	6/18/2002 9:48:01 AM
From: Rambi	Read Replies (4) \| Respond to of 71178

I think you missed your calling as a writer for Mad TV, or the John Stewart Daily Show! That was fantastic. I can't wait to hear what happens next to me. Your vision of my life is lots more fun than the real thing. Although yesterday was very exciting. Ammo was out mowing the front lawn on the riding mower, and came running in to inform me there was a large intestine stretched out in the grass. I refused to go out and look at it, showing a lack of intellectual curiosity that appalled him. I said that he had to finish the yard regardless, so he went back out alone to search for more body parts. Finding none, he mowed around the intestine cautiously, fearing I think that at any minute blood and gore would shoot up from the blades, and he would be blindsided by an unnoticed lung or stomach--which serves him right after all the horror movies he watches. Then he wanted to go online and see if we could find out what kind of intestine it was. You will be stunned to learn that there is no "Field Guide to the Intestines of the Southwest" available on line, so we were unable to trace the origin of The Intestine, which by now was beginning to take on a sort of mystical identity. He went out periodically all day to check on it, as if it were going to get up and walk away, or slither off like a snake. Or maybe he was consulting it, his own private Texas Delphic Oracle. He couldn't wait for his father to get home to tell him about it. It was sadly too dark for Dan to go out and admire this miraculous appearance of The Intestine in our yard, but he was regaled with a graphic description anyway. I haven't checked this morning and am hoping that the Intestine indeed DID get up and walk off during the night. I can't tell you how relieved I was that it wasn't stretched out on my living room floor this morning.